We are in the process of booking our Christmas flights. We are being mundane this year and rather than jetting off (as we have done in the past) to somewhere exciting like Cambodia or Lebanon and Turkey we are just flying to the UK. Nevertheless it is overdue, Mr EE has 3 pages left on his passport so needs a new one. I have not been back in 23 months, Mr, Master and Miss EE in 18 months and Mini EE has never been to her passport country so we have a lot of people to catch up with.
We have not got around to booking yet for a myriad of rather tiresome reasons but we think we now have dates and can start to explore options. 1 year must be the worst age to fly with, when they are babies they are easily portable, not too heavy and sleep most of the time. From 2 they have their own seat, watch TV, sleep and eat and are not much trouble (at least the older two were not) but at 1 she has to sit on our laps. Mr EE and I will have to sort out a 2 hour on/off rota and just make the best of it. I doubt I will ever be able to approach it with the calm of my travel heroine. I don't know her name and met her only once but she was on our flight from Frankfurt to Astana to meet her husband who had gone out ahead of her. She was travelling with her 3 year old, two infant twins and three cats. She had her mother along to help but this woman was spectacular and never once appeared to be stressed.
So as we search Opodo and Kayak it has me thinking. For us the real joy of expat life is the chance to explore many diverse places in depth. I have never, however, fallen in love with any mode of travel other than driving (we love roadtrips). Flying is a particular form of purgatory and of course one that expat families experience with far more wearying regularity than most others. It is also full of pitfalls...
Annoying travellers
My mother used to attract these - she would always end up seated next to a weirdo. She spent one flight next to someone we thought was a potential drugs mule, a rather young Dutch girl whose ticket to Venezuela had been paid for by an older male 'penpal' who was sponsoring her 'trip of a lifetime' but could she bring some things back for his family in the Netherlands. My mother spoke to the airline staff who were able to contact consular officials as the plane landed. We are not sure what happened but I think she never cleared passports and was taken home on the return flight.
I seem to have inherited her gift, in spades! When we were a family of 4 Mr EE would opt to sit with the children - he would get their unwanted food, extra leg room and massive kudos from the airline staff who saw a 'dad' travelling with his children (women never get the same kudos but that is a whole other story). So I was ripe for targeting. From the morbidly obese (I felt dreadfully sorry for the man who was very obviously unwell but I ended up squished in 1/4 of my seat with my face plastered against the window for an entire flight, thank goodness it was only 6 hours), to nervous and therefore drunk flier or the elderly and infirm I get them all! (With, thank goodness, the exception of the groper, Mr EE says I give off a no nonsense, don't mess with me vibe, that keeps them away).
The absolute pits, however, must be the garrulous flier, the one who wants to tell you their life story in excruciating detail. Nothing stops them, I have tried pulling out my 'phone and placing it on the table, getting out a book but they NEVER. TAKE. THE. HINT. One 14 hour flight was spent listening to the fertility battles of an Australian miner and his Central Asian wife and the subsequent struggles they had when their child was (very sadly) born disabled. The man very obviously wanted to talk to someone about his wife and son and needed a sympathetic ear but 14 hours! Mr EE says I should just say I have had enough and put my earphones in but I can't bring myself to do that. Any tips gratefully appreciated.
Surly Airline Staff
I get that dealing with the public is stressful and that some people are breathtakingly rude to airline staff. Many, however, seem to be proactively rude and are extremely unhelpful, although to be fair this tends to apply to the ground staff, cabin staff are often excellent.
My particular favourites are the rude check in staff who look at you like mud for not using the automatic check in (we have oversize luggage and pets, we can't automate!) to the ones who try to absolve their airlines for all responsibilities to you, much like the Turkish Airlines Check in clerks who seriously suggested that we were responsible for our own accommodation for two days when the airline cancelled our flight and booked us on the next one. No, we are not, you pay for a New Year hotel or re-reroute us!
That pales into insignificance, however, to the lovely people who work the transfer desks. The cheapest flights from Astana to London were with Ukraine International and I always had good experiences with them (I flew back once a month). Their code-share on Astana flights was not so impressive but rather wonderfully named Aerosvit (also known as (AeroS(you get the idea)). One flight saw us delayed in Astana until the banks in Ukraine opened because the airline had not paid their gate fees. The transfer rep tasked with getting me through security in time to get on my next flight got to her task with gusto elbowing people out of the way with some force and pushed a child over. His mother thought I was the culprit and grabbed my hair in an attempt to force me down to the ground and start kicking me until I was rescued by some bystanders - travel really does bring out the worst in people. I was so relieved to be on my own that time, I can't imagine that I would have been able to stay calm had someone laid into me infront of the children (or even worse laid into the children).
Technical and other problems
The joy of tech delays, swapping planes, emergency landings or the flight being held back because of weather problems. These seemed to happen all the time in my youth but we seem to have been rather lucky of late with only a few nightmarish exceptions. Mr EE has had some truly amazing delays, all on the way to interviews as it happens and once in Astana where they kept on promising to board the plane in the next hour until they finally got away 12 hours later. The passengers bought the small airport cafe out of all food and drink and Miss EE had so many nosebleeds she had no clean clothes left. Annoyingly I was only 45 minutes drive away but I could not get clean clothes through security. We did have a long technical fault delay in Beirut where we got through all the pre-flight checks only for the pilot to abort his take off attempt at the head of the runway. We thought we would end up sleeping on the airport benches (and trying to sell it as an adventure to Master and Miss EE who were only 5 and 3 at the time) but when the airline realised they would need to fly a replacement plane down they put us up in a suite at a local hotel. To be fair I never mind technical delays, I would rather the flight was fixed than not and being stuck in an airport is better than an emergency landing.
It is not just planes that can go wrong, a few years ago we were stuck in Istanbul when the passport scanners failed. We were stuck in those horrible weaving lines for some time with no water while they tried to fix the system. The children did their best but they got bored and cranky, and no wonder we were too. Everyone was in the same boat though so flights were held and went pretty much as soon as the problem was solved.
Of course there are things that can't be prepared for. Last year came with bad news for Malaysian Airlines and Air Asia and of course the recent Metrojet incident is a warning. The children are aware that bad things can happen (one of the children at their school at the time had a parent on MH17) but we are very clear about how rare these things are as the last thing we need is nervous fliers in the family and we discuss these tragedies quite openly and calmly.
So as we book our Christmas break we are wrestling with these questions. Does breaking the flight halfway make it more bearable or prolong the agony? Is it worth getting an overnight AirBNB in Muscat or Dubai? Does splitting travel make the chances of a nightmare flight more likely? Will I end up stuck with a weirdo? Will the baby sleep at all? Will we end up diverted on a completely crazy route? Will the plane break down? Will the London airports be open or closed for fog/snow/ice?
Anyway after 4 decades of this type of experience I accept that I am lucky if it all goes right as it is more likely to go wrong! We split everyone's clothes between different cases and handluggage, make sure the electronics (particularly the children's) are charged in case entertainment on the plane is not working, that Master and Miss EE have a book to read for takeoff and landing and pray that we will be able to get some form of food and water post security that I can package and take on the flight and keep us all going in the event a visiting dignitary cannot make his mind up about his time of departure and keeps all flights grounded - yes i'm looking at you Emir of (okay I won't say it incase we end up posted there in the future). There is an upside problems when they occur, by the time Master, Miss and Mini EE are old enough to travel on their own they will have seen it all and know how to cope with all the fun of the expat flight adventure!
Will you be flying anywhere for Christmas? What challenges have you had in the past and what tips do you have for coping with them?
Click on the picture below for more posts on the challenges of expat life.
Part of the Expat Family monthly link up hosted by Seychelles Mama.
We have not got around to booking yet for a myriad of rather tiresome reasons but we think we now have dates and can start to explore options. 1 year must be the worst age to fly with, when they are babies they are easily portable, not too heavy and sleep most of the time. From 2 they have their own seat, watch TV, sleep and eat and are not much trouble (at least the older two were not) but at 1 she has to sit on our laps. Mr EE and I will have to sort out a 2 hour on/off rota and just make the best of it. I doubt I will ever be able to approach it with the calm of my travel heroine. I don't know her name and met her only once but she was on our flight from Frankfurt to Astana to meet her husband who had gone out ahead of her. She was travelling with her 3 year old, two infant twins and three cats. She had her mother along to help but this woman was spectacular and never once appeared to be stressed.
So as we search Opodo and Kayak it has me thinking. For us the real joy of expat life is the chance to explore many diverse places in depth. I have never, however, fallen in love with any mode of travel other than driving (we love roadtrips). Flying is a particular form of purgatory and of course one that expat families experience with far more wearying regularity than most others. It is also full of pitfalls...
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| Cultivate an interest in aviation - expat children spend an inordinate amount of time in airports! |
Annoying travellers
My mother used to attract these - she would always end up seated next to a weirdo. She spent one flight next to someone we thought was a potential drugs mule, a rather young Dutch girl whose ticket to Venezuela had been paid for by an older male 'penpal' who was sponsoring her 'trip of a lifetime' but could she bring some things back for his family in the Netherlands. My mother spoke to the airline staff who were able to contact consular officials as the plane landed. We are not sure what happened but I think she never cleared passports and was taken home on the return flight.
I seem to have inherited her gift, in spades! When we were a family of 4 Mr EE would opt to sit with the children - he would get their unwanted food, extra leg room and massive kudos from the airline staff who saw a 'dad' travelling with his children (women never get the same kudos but that is a whole other story). So I was ripe for targeting. From the morbidly obese (I felt dreadfully sorry for the man who was very obviously unwell but I ended up squished in 1/4 of my seat with my face plastered against the window for an entire flight, thank goodness it was only 6 hours), to nervous and therefore drunk flier or the elderly and infirm I get them all! (With, thank goodness, the exception of the groper, Mr EE says I give off a no nonsense, don't mess with me vibe, that keeps them away).
The absolute pits, however, must be the garrulous flier, the one who wants to tell you their life story in excruciating detail. Nothing stops them, I have tried pulling out my 'phone and placing it on the table, getting out a book but they NEVER. TAKE. THE. HINT. One 14 hour flight was spent listening to the fertility battles of an Australian miner and his Central Asian wife and the subsequent struggles they had when their child was (very sadly) born disabled. The man very obviously wanted to talk to someone about his wife and son and needed a sympathetic ear but 14 hours! Mr EE says I should just say I have had enough and put my earphones in but I can't bring myself to do that. Any tips gratefully appreciated.
 |
| Airports seem to manage to look the same - the world round. |
I get that dealing with the public is stressful and that some people are breathtakingly rude to airline staff. Many, however, seem to be proactively rude and are extremely unhelpful, although to be fair this tends to apply to the ground staff, cabin staff are often excellent.
My particular favourites are the rude check in staff who look at you like mud for not using the automatic check in (we have oversize luggage and pets, we can't automate!) to the ones who try to absolve their airlines for all responsibilities to you, much like the Turkish Airlines Check in clerks who seriously suggested that we were responsible for our own accommodation for two days when the airline cancelled our flight and booked us on the next one. No, we are not, you pay for a New Year hotel or re-reroute us!
That pales into insignificance, however, to the lovely people who work the transfer desks. The cheapest flights from Astana to London were with Ukraine International and I always had good experiences with them (I flew back once a month). Their code-share on Astana flights was not so impressive but rather wonderfully named Aerosvit (also known as (AeroS(you get the idea)). One flight saw us delayed in Astana until the banks in Ukraine opened because the airline had not paid their gate fees. The transfer rep tasked with getting me through security in time to get on my next flight got to her task with gusto elbowing people out of the way with some force and pushed a child over. His mother thought I was the culprit and grabbed my hair in an attempt to force me down to the ground and start kicking me until I was rescued by some bystanders - travel really does bring out the worst in people. I was so relieved to be on my own that time, I can't imagine that I would have been able to stay calm had someone laid into me infront of the children (or even worse laid into the children).
 |
| Airport staff seem to love to make life hell - its better when you get onboard! |
The joy of tech delays, swapping planes, emergency landings or the flight being held back because of weather problems. These seemed to happen all the time in my youth but we seem to have been rather lucky of late with only a few nightmarish exceptions. Mr EE has had some truly amazing delays, all on the way to interviews as it happens and once in Astana where they kept on promising to board the plane in the next hour until they finally got away 12 hours later. The passengers bought the small airport cafe out of all food and drink and Miss EE had so many nosebleeds she had no clean clothes left. Annoyingly I was only 45 minutes drive away but I could not get clean clothes through security. We did have a long technical fault delay in Beirut where we got through all the pre-flight checks only for the pilot to abort his take off attempt at the head of the runway. We thought we would end up sleeping on the airport benches (and trying to sell it as an adventure to Master and Miss EE who were only 5 and 3 at the time) but when the airline realised they would need to fly a replacement plane down they put us up in a suite at a local hotel. To be fair I never mind technical delays, I would rather the flight was fixed than not and being stuck in an airport is better than an emergency landing.
It is not just planes that can go wrong, a few years ago we were stuck in Istanbul when the passport scanners failed. We were stuck in those horrible weaving lines for some time with no water while they tried to fix the system. The children did their best but they got bored and cranky, and no wonder we were too. Everyone was in the same boat though so flights were held and went pretty much as soon as the problem was solved.
Of course there are things that can't be prepared for. Last year came with bad news for Malaysian Airlines and Air Asia and of course the recent Metrojet incident is a warning. The children are aware that bad things can happen (one of the children at their school at the time had a parent on MH17) but we are very clear about how rare these things are as the last thing we need is nervous fliers in the family and we discuss these tragedies quite openly and calmly.
So as we book our Christmas break we are wrestling with these questions. Does breaking the flight halfway make it more bearable or prolong the agony? Is it worth getting an overnight AirBNB in Muscat or Dubai? Does splitting travel make the chances of a nightmare flight more likely? Will I end up stuck with a weirdo? Will the baby sleep at all? Will we end up diverted on a completely crazy route? Will the plane break down? Will the London airports be open or closed for fog/snow/ice?
Anyway after 4 decades of this type of experience I accept that I am lucky if it all goes right as it is more likely to go wrong! We split everyone's clothes between different cases and handluggage, make sure the electronics (particularly the children's) are charged in case entertainment on the plane is not working, that Master and Miss EE have a book to read for takeoff and landing and pray that we will be able to get some form of food and water post security that I can package and take on the flight and keep us all going in the event a visiting dignitary cannot make his mind up about his time of departure and keeps all flights grounded - yes i'm looking at you Emir of (okay I won't say it incase we end up posted there in the future). There is an upside problems when they occur, by the time Master, Miss and Mini EE are old enough to travel on their own they will have seen it all and know how to cope with all the fun of the expat flight adventure!
Will you be flying anywhere for Christmas? What challenges have you had in the past and what tips do you have for coping with them?
Click on the picture below for more posts on the challenges of expat life.
Part of the Expat Family monthly link up hosted by Seychelles Mama.
Wow you really have been through it all haven't you!? I can't believe someone pulled you down and attacked you like that over something that wasn't your fault, that is horrifying!!!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree that the non stop talkers are definitely the worst :( I also don't have the heart to tell them to shut up.....does anyone really do this!?
we aren't going away this Christmas and I'm feeling rather sad about that I have to say! We will make the most of Christmas here though I'm sure!! Thanks for joining in with #myexpatfamily X
Well she did think I had pushed her child so I can sort of understand it. I could not press a complaint as it would have meant missing my flight. Enjoy your home based Christmas, we were at home last year and it was fun. You get to make Christmas dinner just the way you like it. :)
DeleteOh the stories we can tell about travel as expats....the time I was put in the "nursery" area (4 rows of parents with under 2s) when I was a single child-free 20 year old (pure horror at that stage in my life, it was in the days of smoking on planes and I even asked to be reseated with the smokers over all the babies!!!), the time the plane made an emergency landing due to birds in the engines and I used my wedding dress that I was carrying as an excuse to get on the next flight out saying "I'm getting married tomorrow" with people all round muttering "what an idiot to be flying the day before her wedding", yeah like duh, as if...! It was just an excuse to get out, the wedding wasn't for a week! etc etc, but your story of being tackled to the ground is pretty spectacular! Great stories here. I hope you have an uneventful and safe journey back to UK at Christmas.
ReplyDeleteWho puts a 20 something with children - madness. Quick thinking on the wedding dress - birds were responsible for one of the worst arguments I ever had with my mother. We brought my sister to the airport and through to the plane to fly back to school (we were allowed in those days). I was flying the following evening and wanted to stay in the hotel to read my book as I was at a crucial part (would Andreij ever forgive Natasha!) but was told no I would not see my sister for 3 months, I asked to bring the book, no it would be a quick in and out. A bird in the engine on landing meant that we had a 4 hour delay and my book was nice and snug in the hotel. I was furious.
DeleteOh yes love these tales! I have had a few interesting journeys in my time too (most of which seem to involve Miami Airport) but have yet to be physicallly attacked! We're staying here for Christmas but have lots of little adventures planned, including Namibia in December and hopefully Mauritius in April. Then back to the UK in July - but for us it is fairly straightforward: one flight, 11 hours, overnight, 1 or 2 hour time difference, done. And the children are old enough now just to be plugged in - always a bonus!
ReplyDeleteThe attack was a first for me although my mother was threatened and beaten in a certain country we have both lived in. I am rather envious of your Namibian trip - it is somewhere I have always wanted to go. Mr EE almost applied for a job in Windhoek and I was disappointed when it turned out to not be quite the right thing.
DeleteI managed to live 4 years in Ven without ever stepping foot in Miami which was infamous amongst fellow expats at the time, (I flew London, New York, Caracas, Maracaibo, long but it saved £200 on the Caracas or Miami route) but my sister was held (age about 15) in customs there for ages, she had made the mistake of being sarcastic to a customs official so it (almost) served her right.
Oh, I agree about travelling with a 1 year old being the most difficult one! We had to fly with our 1.5 year old from Hamburg to Shanghai via Dubai. I was very happy back then that I was still breast feeding - really helped with putting her to sleep.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your next flight!
Thanks - we will be packing lots of bottles but she rarely takes one for comfort any more. I expect we will have bruises on our knees from the jumping up and down but our neighbours will have a flight full of entertainment from our smiley little girl (she smiles all the time)
DeleteYour stories are entertaining, as usual -- can't imagine all the quirky folks you've been seated with! Perhaps a portfolio of faux-but-urgent work might do the job in case of a particularly garrulous passenger? It's about the only polite excuse there is, short of feigning exhaustion, sleep, or illness :-)
ReplyDeleteI tried the work once and it was no go, the person spoke over it. A friend recommended reading a journal full of really nasty medical pictures but I just know that if I did that I would be seated next to a garrulous trauma surgeon or communicable disease expert! I am cursed.
DeleteI feel so lucky in my travels - mostly have just had the run of the mil flight delays, mechanical issues, etc. Even my kid has been a relatively ace traveler, thus far. I agree that the long talkers are the worst - I think I have a "don't talk to me" face because I don't get them very often. I'm knocking on wood!
ReplyDeleteFIngers crossed it stays like that!
DeleteWow, you've had some "interesting" flying experiences! I haven't flown anywhere in over two years, but I haven't really had any serious problems when flying... so far!
ReplyDelete#MyExpatFamily
I think it is one of those things that just happens when you fly often enough. In one posting my parents had when I was a child I had four flights each way just to get home three times a year and that was not including holiday flights etc so it mounted up. Fingers crossed it stays ok for you.
DeleteI think because as Expats we travel more we have more opportunity to experience weird travel glitches and horrible seat mate experiences. I think traveling with kids makes it easier and harder at the same time. I know that especially if the Tiny American and I are traveling alone i find that people are super helpful and generally airport staff will go out of their way to help move us through security faster and through immigration a little quicker.
ReplyDeleteMy husband had to fly home a little bit earlier than our scheduled flights to the US for the Holidays this year so The Tiny American and I made our first long haul by ourselves and I was so pleased with how smoothly it went! The Jetlag still sucks but I was happy that I could do it by myself and that we both survived!
Yes I think children can help ease things along (although Mr EE usually sits with/goes through with them as we find people are more sympathetic to a man with children than a woman). Being allowed to the head of a loooooong immigration queue is always handy. Shame you had to travel alone but it is always great to get a 'first' out of the way and survive it!
DeleteI've had my share of annoying passengers over the years on airlines, buses, trains. When they are really insistent and I've had enough of being the polite listener and they aren't taking the polite hints I usually use a book as an excuse. 'I'm sorry, I really just want to get back to my book now. It's my only chance to read for the next week' or 'I'm sorry, I have to finish reading this to meet a deadline' (great if your using a book reader and they can't tell what you're reading). It's hard to remember but they are the ones who are being rude so it's okay to get more and more abrupt and direct about your intention to do something else.
ReplyDeleteI probably should try that, more for my own sanity than anything else but I just feel so bad. I need to toughen up!
DeleteIt's funny - these are all things I constantly worry about while flying but almost none of them actually happen to me. I feel like I'm jinxing our upcoming trips, but I've been relatively lucky. The longest I've been stuck is an 8-hour delay, but mostly those things go smoothly. I suppose I do give off more of a "leave me alone" vibe, because I tend to be able to quickly shut down any conversation when I'm not interested. The headphones really do do the trick. Maybe to not seem as rude head to the restroom first to put a break in the conversation. Or, simply say "I'm feeling very tired and would like some rest now, but it was nice talking to you!". Better than 14 hours of a sad story leaving you feeling annoyed and drained when you arrive at your destination! I hope your trip this winter goes smoothly and you get all the good travel fairy dust :)
ReplyDeleteTrust me I have tried and I am usually fairly intimidating but I always get the sad sap - you know the type of person who never gets the hint or someone truly desperate - the type where you worry that if you don't let them talk they might do something bad.
DeleteGosh, I thought we had a few tales to tell, but we have nothing!! Flying with kids, definitely at it's hardest when they are between one and about two and a half... they may have their own seat at two, but that didn't make any of ours want to actually sit in it! I'm very glad to be past that now :) Having read this post, I do think we've got off quite lightly so far... touch wood it stays that way! #expatfamily
ReplyDeleteWe got off without any flying at all when Master and Miss EE were babies - we were in Europe so just drove everywhere in our own car. Ferries were a nightmare though, I remember a 7 hour liverpool dublin run on a trucker ferry. It was very very cheap but not a fun experience. By the time Miss EE was 2, however, she would just sit quietly and was the easiest toddler in the world to fly with. Mini EE will bounce up and down, she never stops moving!
Delete