We are in the process of booking our Christmas flights. We are being mundane this year and rather than jetting off (as we have done in the past) to somewhere exciting like Cambodia or Lebanon and Turkey we are just flying to the UK. Nevertheless it is overdue, Mr EE has 3 pages left on his passport so needs a new one. I have not been back in 23 months, Mr, Master and Miss EE in 18 months and Mini EE has never been to her passport country so we have a lot of people to catch up with.
We have not got around to booking yet for a myriad of rather tiresome reasons but we think we now have dates and can start to explore options. 1 year must be the worst age to fly with, when they are babies they are easily portable, not too heavy and sleep most of the time. From 2 they have their own seat, watch TV, sleep and eat and are not much trouble (at least the older two were not) but at 1 she has to sit on our laps. Mr EE and I will have to sort out a 2 hour on/off rota and just make the best of it. I doubt I will ever be able to approach it with the calm of my travel heroine. I don't know her name and met her only once but she was on our flight from Frankfurt to Astana to meet her husband who had gone out ahead of her. She was travelling with her 3 year old, two infant twins and three cats. She had her mother along to help but this woman was spectacular and never once appeared to be stressed.
So as we search Opodo and Kayak it has me thinking. For us the real joy of expat life is the chance to explore many diverse places in depth. I have never, however, fallen in love with any mode of travel other than driving (we love roadtrips). Flying is a particular form of purgatory and of course one that expat families experience with far more wearying regularity than most others. It is also full of pitfalls...
Annoying travellers
My mother used to attract these - she would always end up seated next to a weirdo. She spent one flight next to someone we thought was a potential drugs mule, a rather young Dutch girl whose ticket to Venezuela had been paid for by an older male 'penpal' who was sponsoring her 'trip of a lifetime' but could she bring some things back for his family in the Netherlands. My mother spoke to the airline staff who were able to contact consular officials as the plane landed. We are not sure what happened but I think she never cleared passports and was taken home on the return flight.
I seem to have inherited her gift, in spades! When we were a family of 4 Mr EE would opt to sit with the children - he would get their unwanted food, extra leg room and massive kudos from the airline staff who saw a 'dad' travelling with his children (women never get the same kudos but that is a whole other story). So I was ripe for targeting. From the morbidly obese (I felt dreadfully sorry for the man who was very obviously unwell but I ended up squished in 1/4 of my seat with my face plastered against the window for an entire flight, thank goodness it was only 6 hours), to nervous and therefore drunk flier or the elderly and infirm I get them all! (With, thank goodness, the exception of the groper, Mr EE says I give off a no nonsense, don't mess with me vibe, that keeps them away).
The absolute pits, however, must be the garrulous flier, the one who wants to tell you their life story in excruciating detail. Nothing stops them, I have tried pulling out my 'phone and placing it on the table, getting out a book but they NEVER. TAKE. THE. HINT. One 14 hour flight was spent listening to the fertility battles of an Australian miner and his Central Asian wife and the subsequent struggles they had when their child was (very sadly) born disabled. The man very obviously wanted to talk to someone about his wife and son and needed a sympathetic ear but 14 hours! Mr EE says I should just say I have had enough and put my earphones in but I can't bring myself to do that. Any tips gratefully appreciated.
Surly Airline Staff
I get that dealing with the public is stressful and that some people are breathtakingly rude to airline staff. Many, however, seem to be proactively rude and are extremely unhelpful, although to be fair this tends to apply to the ground staff, cabin staff are often excellent.
My particular favourites are the rude check in staff who look at you like mud for not using the automatic check in (we have oversize luggage and pets, we can't automate!) to the ones who try to absolve their airlines for all responsibilities to you, much like the Turkish Airlines Check in clerks who seriously suggested that we were responsible for our own accommodation for two days when the airline cancelled our flight and booked us on the next one. No, we are not, you pay for a New Year hotel or re-reroute us!
That pales into insignificance, however, to the lovely people who work the transfer desks. The cheapest flights from Astana to London were with Ukraine International and I always had good experiences with them (I flew back once a month). Their code-share on Astana flights was not so impressive but rather wonderfully named Aerosvit (also known as (AeroS(you get the idea)). One flight saw us delayed in Astana until the banks in Ukraine opened because the airline had not paid their gate fees. The transfer rep tasked with getting me through security in time to get on my next flight got to her task with gusto elbowing people out of the way with some force and pushed a child over. His mother thought I was the culprit and grabbed my hair in an attempt to force me down to the ground and start kicking me until I was rescued by some bystanders - travel really does bring out the worst in people. I was so relieved to be on my own that time, I can't imagine that I would have been able to stay calm had someone laid into me infront of the children (or even worse laid into the children).
Technical and other problems
The joy of tech delays, swapping planes, emergency landings or the flight being held back because of weather problems. These seemed to happen all the time in my youth but we seem to have been rather lucky of late with only a few nightmarish exceptions. Mr EE has had some truly amazing delays, all on the way to interviews as it happens and once in Astana where they kept on promising to board the plane in the next hour until they finally got away 12 hours later. The passengers bought the small airport cafe out of all food and drink and Miss EE had so many nosebleeds she had no clean clothes left. Annoyingly I was only 45 minutes drive away but I could not get clean clothes through security. We did have a long technical fault delay in Beirut where we got through all the pre-flight checks only for the pilot to abort his take off attempt at the head of the runway. We thought we would end up sleeping on the airport benches (and trying to sell it as an adventure to Master and Miss EE who were only 5 and 3 at the time) but when the airline realised they would need to fly a replacement plane down they put us up in a suite at a local hotel. To be fair I never mind technical delays, I would rather the flight was fixed than not and being stuck in an airport is better than an emergency landing.
It is not just planes that can go wrong, a few years ago we were stuck in Istanbul when the passport scanners failed. We were stuck in those horrible weaving lines for some time with no water while they tried to fix the system. The children did their best but they got bored and cranky, and no wonder we were too. Everyone was in the same boat though so flights were held and went pretty much as soon as the problem was solved.
Of course there are things that can't be prepared for. Last year came with bad news for Malaysian Airlines and Air Asia and of course the recent Metrojet incident is a warning. The children are aware that bad things can happen (one of the children at their school at the time had a parent on MH17) but we are very clear about how rare these things are as the last thing we need is nervous fliers in the family and we discuss these tragedies quite openly and calmly.
So as we book our Christmas break we are wrestling with these questions. Does breaking the flight halfway make it more bearable or prolong the agony? Is it worth getting an overnight AirBNB in Muscat or Dubai? Does splitting travel make the chances of a nightmare flight more likely? Will I end up stuck with a weirdo? Will the baby sleep at all? Will we end up diverted on a completely crazy route? Will the plane break down? Will the London airports be open or closed for fog/snow/ice?
Anyway after 4 decades of this type of experience I accept that I am lucky if it all goes right as it is more likely to go wrong! We split everyone's clothes between different cases and handluggage, make sure the electronics (particularly the children's) are charged in case entertainment on the plane is not working, that Master and Miss EE have a book to read for takeoff and landing and pray that we will be able to get some form of food and water post security that I can package and take on the flight and keep us all going in the event a visiting dignitary cannot make his mind up about his time of departure and keeps all flights grounded - yes i'm looking at you Emir of (okay I won't say it incase we end up posted there in the future). There is an upside problems when they occur, by the time Master, Miss and Mini EE are old enough to travel on their own they will have seen it all and know how to cope with all the fun of the expat flight adventure!
Will you be flying anywhere for Christmas? What challenges have you had in the past and what tips do you have for coping with them?
Click on the picture below for more posts on the challenges of expat life.
Part of the Expat Family monthly link up hosted by Seychelles Mama.
We have not got around to booking yet for a myriad of rather tiresome reasons but we think we now have dates and can start to explore options. 1 year must be the worst age to fly with, when they are babies they are easily portable, not too heavy and sleep most of the time. From 2 they have their own seat, watch TV, sleep and eat and are not much trouble (at least the older two were not) but at 1 she has to sit on our laps. Mr EE and I will have to sort out a 2 hour on/off rota and just make the best of it. I doubt I will ever be able to approach it with the calm of my travel heroine. I don't know her name and met her only once but she was on our flight from Frankfurt to Astana to meet her husband who had gone out ahead of her. She was travelling with her 3 year old, two infant twins and three cats. She had her mother along to help but this woman was spectacular and never once appeared to be stressed.
So as we search Opodo and Kayak it has me thinking. For us the real joy of expat life is the chance to explore many diverse places in depth. I have never, however, fallen in love with any mode of travel other than driving (we love roadtrips). Flying is a particular form of purgatory and of course one that expat families experience with far more wearying regularity than most others. It is also full of pitfalls...
 |
| Cultivate an interest in aviation - expat children spend an inordinate amount of time in airports! |
Annoying travellers
My mother used to attract these - she would always end up seated next to a weirdo. She spent one flight next to someone we thought was a potential drugs mule, a rather young Dutch girl whose ticket to Venezuela had been paid for by an older male 'penpal' who was sponsoring her 'trip of a lifetime' but could she bring some things back for his family in the Netherlands. My mother spoke to the airline staff who were able to contact consular officials as the plane landed. We are not sure what happened but I think she never cleared passports and was taken home on the return flight.
I seem to have inherited her gift, in spades! When we were a family of 4 Mr EE would opt to sit with the children - he would get their unwanted food, extra leg room and massive kudos from the airline staff who saw a 'dad' travelling with his children (women never get the same kudos but that is a whole other story). So I was ripe for targeting. From the morbidly obese (I felt dreadfully sorry for the man who was very obviously unwell but I ended up squished in 1/4 of my seat with my face plastered against the window for an entire flight, thank goodness it was only 6 hours), to nervous and therefore drunk flier or the elderly and infirm I get them all! (With, thank goodness, the exception of the groper, Mr EE says I give off a no nonsense, don't mess with me vibe, that keeps them away).
The absolute pits, however, must be the garrulous flier, the one who wants to tell you their life story in excruciating detail. Nothing stops them, I have tried pulling out my 'phone and placing it on the table, getting out a book but they NEVER. TAKE. THE. HINT. One 14 hour flight was spent listening to the fertility battles of an Australian miner and his Central Asian wife and the subsequent struggles they had when their child was (very sadly) born disabled. The man very obviously wanted to talk to someone about his wife and son and needed a sympathetic ear but 14 hours! Mr EE says I should just say I have had enough and put my earphones in but I can't bring myself to do that. Any tips gratefully appreciated.
 |
| Airports seem to manage to look the same - the world round. |
I get that dealing with the public is stressful and that some people are breathtakingly rude to airline staff. Many, however, seem to be proactively rude and are extremely unhelpful, although to be fair this tends to apply to the ground staff, cabin staff are often excellent.
My particular favourites are the rude check in staff who look at you like mud for not using the automatic check in (we have oversize luggage and pets, we can't automate!) to the ones who try to absolve their airlines for all responsibilities to you, much like the Turkish Airlines Check in clerks who seriously suggested that we were responsible for our own accommodation for two days when the airline cancelled our flight and booked us on the next one. No, we are not, you pay for a New Year hotel or re-reroute us!
That pales into insignificance, however, to the lovely people who work the transfer desks. The cheapest flights from Astana to London were with Ukraine International and I always had good experiences with them (I flew back once a month). Their code-share on Astana flights was not so impressive but rather wonderfully named Aerosvit (also known as (AeroS(you get the idea)). One flight saw us delayed in Astana until the banks in Ukraine opened because the airline had not paid their gate fees. The transfer rep tasked with getting me through security in time to get on my next flight got to her task with gusto elbowing people out of the way with some force and pushed a child over. His mother thought I was the culprit and grabbed my hair in an attempt to force me down to the ground and start kicking me until I was rescued by some bystanders - travel really does bring out the worst in people. I was so relieved to be on my own that time, I can't imagine that I would have been able to stay calm had someone laid into me infront of the children (or even worse laid into the children).
 |
| Airport staff seem to love to make life hell - its better when you get onboard! |
The joy of tech delays, swapping planes, emergency landings or the flight being held back because of weather problems. These seemed to happen all the time in my youth but we seem to have been rather lucky of late with only a few nightmarish exceptions. Mr EE has had some truly amazing delays, all on the way to interviews as it happens and once in Astana where they kept on promising to board the plane in the next hour until they finally got away 12 hours later. The passengers bought the small airport cafe out of all food and drink and Miss EE had so many nosebleeds she had no clean clothes left. Annoyingly I was only 45 minutes drive away but I could not get clean clothes through security. We did have a long technical fault delay in Beirut where we got through all the pre-flight checks only for the pilot to abort his take off attempt at the head of the runway. We thought we would end up sleeping on the airport benches (and trying to sell it as an adventure to Master and Miss EE who were only 5 and 3 at the time) but when the airline realised they would need to fly a replacement plane down they put us up in a suite at a local hotel. To be fair I never mind technical delays, I would rather the flight was fixed than not and being stuck in an airport is better than an emergency landing.
It is not just planes that can go wrong, a few years ago we were stuck in Istanbul when the passport scanners failed. We were stuck in those horrible weaving lines for some time with no water while they tried to fix the system. The children did their best but they got bored and cranky, and no wonder we were too. Everyone was in the same boat though so flights were held and went pretty much as soon as the problem was solved.
Of course there are things that can't be prepared for. Last year came with bad news for Malaysian Airlines and Air Asia and of course the recent Metrojet incident is a warning. The children are aware that bad things can happen (one of the children at their school at the time had a parent on MH17) but we are very clear about how rare these things are as the last thing we need is nervous fliers in the family and we discuss these tragedies quite openly and calmly.
So as we book our Christmas break we are wrestling with these questions. Does breaking the flight halfway make it more bearable or prolong the agony? Is it worth getting an overnight AirBNB in Muscat or Dubai? Does splitting travel make the chances of a nightmare flight more likely? Will I end up stuck with a weirdo? Will the baby sleep at all? Will we end up diverted on a completely crazy route? Will the plane break down? Will the London airports be open or closed for fog/snow/ice?
Anyway after 4 decades of this type of experience I accept that I am lucky if it all goes right as it is more likely to go wrong! We split everyone's clothes between different cases and handluggage, make sure the electronics (particularly the children's) are charged in case entertainment on the plane is not working, that Master and Miss EE have a book to read for takeoff and landing and pray that we will be able to get some form of food and water post security that I can package and take on the flight and keep us all going in the event a visiting dignitary cannot make his mind up about his time of departure and keeps all flights grounded - yes i'm looking at you Emir of (okay I won't say it incase we end up posted there in the future). There is an upside problems when they occur, by the time Master, Miss and Mini EE are old enough to travel on their own they will have seen it all and know how to cope with all the fun of the expat flight adventure!
Will you be flying anywhere for Christmas? What challenges have you had in the past and what tips do you have for coping with them?
Click on the picture below for more posts on the challenges of expat life.
Part of the Expat Family monthly link up hosted by Seychelles Mama.
