Following my recent review of Drinking Camel’s Milk in the Yurt I was asked to review Paula
Lucas’ autobiography, Harvesting Stones. While both books write about the expatriate
experience they could not be more different in terms of the atmosphere they
evoke.
Drinking Camel’s Milk
in the Yurt is a celebration of all that is best about life as an
expat. Harvesting Stones, by contrast, is a harrowing window into a living
nightmare. Paula’s story starts with her
childhood in an ordinary (if complicated) Californian family and follows her
move to the big city where she meets her future husband. The book then goes through details of their
courtship, marriage and move to Dubai.
The relationship deteriorates, becoming steadily more abusive until
Paula is forced to escape to the United States with her children.
Paula’s memoir is both readable and compelling. Like many women in similar situations Paula
missed the red flags, seduced by a charming, manipulative, sophisticated, sadistic
man. From the moment Paula meets her
future husband, the reader is left with a terrible sense of the
inevitable. His controlling nature (so
obvious in retrospect) leaps off the page and the most disturbing aspect of the
story is the fact that her husband’s family were complicit in the abuse of both
Paula and her children, at the least through failing to act to protect
them.
Paula’s story should act as a warning for all
expatriates. It shows how the
protections we take for granted in our home countries can be impossible to
access abroad and the support provided by Embassies can often be tied up in red
tape and bureaucracy. It also highlights
how important expatriate support networks can be; those of us who live an
expatriate life are responsible for and to our friends. This lesson that I take from this book is
that I need to be more aware of my friends and their children, to keep an eye
out for them and be ready and willing to support them when they need it. I am confident that they are all ok but I
hope that we are type of people they can turn to should they ever need to.
Harvesting Stones is
a story of true grit and determination – Paula does succeed in outwitting her
husband and saving both her children and herself. Not only that but she managed to found two
charities, the Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Centre and the Sexual Assault Support & Help for Americans Abroad Program. Paula is a brave and inspirational woman who
has turned her traumatic experiences into a personal vocation; her story
deserves to be heard.
Click the picture for more posts on the challenges of expat life.
Click the picture for more posts on the challenges of expat life.
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