False Friends

One of the greatest challenges for expatriates is learning to communicate in their host country.  Even a common language is no guarantee of easy communication.  I worked for an American company for a while and had to take great care with English colloquialisms, use an American spellcheck and watch out for dates  as American dates are written back to front compared with British ones.  Habits of your home country also stay with you no matter how accultured you become to your host society.  I can still amuse my English husband with the odd, inadvertence use of Dutch time conventions – 10 minutes before the half hour and so on.   

The real confusion arises, however, when you bring a foreign language into the mix.  Homophones (words that sound similar but mean different things) can be a nightmare, for example Pollo (chicken) and Polvo (powder) in Spanish, massage/message in English or  Gäste/Geste in German.  Even worse than homophones, however, are the false friends.  The Russian word for snow, снег, sounds very like snake but you will not get much снег in Sub Saharan Africa.   Интеллигентный sounds like intelligent but means cultured and if someone asks for your Фамилия they are asking for your surname not the health of your family..  You might think the Spanish word embrazada means embarrassed but use that word and you will be implying that someone is pregnant  which will probably embarrass you in turn.  If you hear the words trap and tuin in Dutch someone is talking about a stair and a garden.  If a Swede mentions the word bra in conversation he is not (necessarily) referring to an undergarment but saying something is good.  There are literally thousands of false friends just waiting to trip the unwary.

Grammar can be very confusing.  Russian is a fertile language for grammatical nightmares – mostly concerned with adjectives and nouns – the adjective must conform with the gender and case of the noun.  Counting gets particularly difficult so you use a different expression to say one year, two-four years and 5+ years, then repeat for 21, 22-4 etc.  English, however, must be truly terrible for people to learn particularly the vast number of  homophones, the huge number of synonyms, homonyms a-plenty (eg rose/rose as in flower and get up) and our large number of different tenses used in subtly different ways. 

Modern technology can be a lifesaver but Google translate, babelfish and other similar programs are not immune to mistakes.  A former colleague of ours has a young baby and posts photographs of her to an album on Facebook.  Some months ago I commented on one of the photographs which means that  I see when  new people comment on the album.  Most of the comments are along the lines of ‘just like her daddy’ or ‘what a beautiful girl’.  I was very surprised therefore to see an email message telling me that someone had posted the comment ‘Whore, good health baby.’ On the album.  When I looked up the original text I saw that the poster had actually written ‘Cutie’ not ‘Whore’ but the auto translate had got it very very badly wrong.

Facebook Translation Fail

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Expat Embarrassments

One of the main character traits all expats need is a sense of humour about the situations you find yourself in.  Life has a way of letting us all make fools of ourselves from time to time and these opportunities are only ever magnified when daily life is lived in another culture; another language.  

One of the joys of expat life is to be parachuted in to a new home, with strange appliances whose instruction manuals (if present) are in a language completely alien to you.  Inevitably you will need to use them before your internet is set up to allow you to search for a version you can understand.  Even something as simple as a stop-cock for mains water can be hard to find if you do not know where to look.  Most British expats would expect it to be under the kitchen sink, many other people would automatically look in the basement or utility.  Ours is on the landing just outside the front door – not the most obvious place.  One of the first things I do is locate this valve and the circuit panel so that I do not have to hunt for them in an emergency while trying to communicate with a plumber or electrician with whom I share no common fluent language. 

Landlords also often forget to explain conventions of the host country that everyone grows up knowing because it is done as a matter of course.  It simply does not occur to people that expats might not know that they need to do something.  Our first winter here in Astana our pipes froze, our neighbour very kindly thawed them out for us and explained that because, our building is poorly insulated we have to keep a tap running when the temperature falls below -30.  It never occurred to us that we would need to take special care as we are in a large apartment building (although we would have asked had we been renting a house or were in the countryside) and so we did not ask the landlord if it was necessary, a local probably would have. 

It helps to be prepared for bizarre surprises, in Nigeria we called for someone to come and help clear and service our blocked air conditioner.  We assumed that the service engineer would bring a vacuum device, we did not realise what form this took and were surprised to see him suck the blockage clear with his mouth.  We felt rather bad as we could have performed that rather unpleasant task for ourselves.

We were reminded of the penchant for expat embarrassment when we noticed a slow puncture this week.  We drove to the petrol station and looked about for an air pump to keep us going long enough to have the time to change the tyre.  In Europe every station has air and water available, usually for free.  The attendant came up to ask why we were exploring (poking about) and looked rather surprised when we asked where the air was; they did not have any - we had to go to a specialist shop.  We called a friend to ask where she checked her tyre pressure and she explained that this is not a self service service and is not available at all stations.  She directed us to a supplier near her home; we were not hopeful as it was about 10pm at this stage but she said they worked late.  The man came out, took one look and removed the wheel for us to give it a thorough inspection.  It turned out we had picked up a nail and he patched and replaced the tyre in a matter of moments.  Far less time than it would have taken us to jack up the car on our emergency kit and swap over to the spare.

Because there is little time to get to know their idiosyncrasies hire cars have a wealth of embarrassment potential.  Most people will know how awful it is to pull up to the petrol station  only to remember that the hire company forgot to tell you whether the car takes petrol or diesel, you forgot to check which side the tank is on and you have no idea where the tank release is.  The first (and thankfully only) time I ever had to drive an automatic car I thought that I had to put the thing in park and move through neutral, D1 and D2 at every stop or traffic light.  I spent the whole time wondering why anyone would ever want to drive such an invention of the devil instead of a simple manual car.  People who drive automatics assume that those who drive manuals understand the differences but while my driving instructor taught me how to drive a manual and how to handle a 4x4, he never touched on an automatic.  My mother, laughed for a solid 10 minutes when I complained to her when home at last.  

The worst of it all is that we are pretty competent and reasonably practical.  I know we are not the only people to ever feel like fools in situations like this,  a sense of humour certainly helps and at least I know that, if nothing else I have learned how to keep an AC running.  It is easy to laugh about stupid situations after the event but they are resolved so much more easily if you can laugh at the time, much more constructive than standing on pride.   

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Celebrating the Day of Knowledge

I recall, that when I was very young each September heralded the start of school.  When I look back at those years I cannot help but think that some sort of ceremony, a red letter day, would have gone some way to alleviating the feelings of dread that I recall in my very first year as I stepped up to face the unknown or, in later years, the sense of disappointment I felt as my summer freedoms and family time came to an end. 

My very traditional British boarding school understood this well and had a ceremony called 'handshaking'.  All pupils were expected to attend a chapel service to mark the start of the school year, the prefects would then usher us out class by class, youngest first, and we would proceed slowly down the corridor shaking the hand of every member of staff from the Headmistress to the most junior house-staff. As we had 80 staff and about 480 pupils this took some time but it did mean we felt we knew what our teachers looked like.   Here in Kazakhstan, and indeed across much of the Russian speaking world, they also understand the need to make pupils feel comfortable in their schools so they have a special ceremony to mark the start of the school year.  

My own daughter insisted on having white pom-poms
in her hair.  It is a local tradition for 1 September.  

1 September is  known as the Day of Knowledge and marks the end of summer and the beginning of Autumn and another school year.  I have, this year, joined my husband in working at the same school that our children go to so the last week has been spent setting up and making preparations so that the school will look like a welcoming and exciting place to be.

All schools will be open on the Day of Knowledge, no matter which day of the week it falls on.  Parents spend the run-up preparing their children's uniform (complete with white hair pom-poms for the girls) and getting the right bags and equipment to see the children through the year ahead.  Many pupils both old and new, bring flowers, chocolates or other gifts for their teacher.  The pupils and parents go to the new classrooms and meet their teachers and classmates.  The whole school then gathers for an opening ceremony.  At our school the pupils traditionally gather together to listen to an address from the Headmaster before releasing balloons into the air (one per pupil).  For most schools, however, the tradition calls for one of the youngest girls in the school to ring the Первый Звнок (first bell).  

At our school pupils love releasing balloons into the air for 1 September.

There are no formal classes and most pupils will leave shortly after all the ceremonies are completed, ready to return the next day and settle in to their very first lessons.  The day itself is a very sweet tradition.  It helps to ease new and possibly nervous pupils into their school environment and it is lovely to see the city full of children with their white pompoms in their hair proud of their shiny new shoes, uniforms and bags and, more than anything else, proud of their school community. 

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Celebrating Constitution Day in Astana

30 August is Constitution Day, a public holiday here in Kazakhstan.  This is one of the most important of all our holidays here because it celebrates the day, in 1995, when Kazakhstan accepted the new constitution of the Republic.  

The city authorities arrange many different events  around Astana for people to celebrate the day.  This year the events they are taking the form of concerts, art exhibitions and fireworks.  There is also an open public debate/discussion on the constitution the topic being ‘Pride and Honour of Free People are the Main Law’.  The debate sounds quite fascinating and it would be interesting to watch from a sociological point of view but we know that it will be lost on us.  With that in mind we will probably drive up to the Alzhir museum which is holding a special exhibition before returning home and watching the fireworks from our kitchen window.  

We were very lucky to be in Astana for the Constitution Day celebrations in 2011.  2011 marked the 20^th anniversary of the founding of Kazakhstan as an independent nation so the celebrations were truly magnificent and included an infantry and a mechanised parade in-front of the Pyramid and the Kazakh Eli monument for review by the President.

Waiting for the parade to start

We had only been in Kazakhstan for a few weeks and did not speak a word of Russian or Kazakh.  The parade was being held just half an hour's walk from our apartment so we decided to go along to enjoy the atmosphere rather than watch on the television.  We were not able to get into any of the stands to view the infantry parade but did manage to get a spot near the head of the mechanised parade.  We waited for some time and watched the final preparations to the lead vehicles.  After an hour or so the parade started to move, led by the chiefs of the Army, Airforce and Navy (I was surprised to learn that Kazakhstan has a navy but of course they do have a shoreline on the Caspian).  Once they had moved past they were followed by a very long  mechanised procession which included tanks (T-72's I think), APC's rocket launchers, howitzers, mortars and missiles (sadly I am not sufficiently educated in this area and could not identify each individual item with any real degree of accuracy) before watching a very impressive aerial display. 

The parade processes past the yet to be completed mosque.
Note how, despite the crowd, no-one steps on the beautiful flower display.

While the display was magnificent perhaps the most lasting impression we had was of the warmth of the crowd, their genuine pride in their country and their willingness to share it both with each-other and with foreigners.  We also noticed that, despite people crowding around to get the very best view not a single person pushed or jostled another and nobody stepped on the beautiful displays in the flower beds.  It was one of the most joyful introductions I have ever had to life in another country. 

The event culminated in a 20 minute aerial display

It was quite something to watch the MiGs fly over the Astana skyline

The logistics and cost involved must have been staggering, but how often does a country turn 20 years old!  We felt very lucky that we were here at just the right time to see it, certainly not something we would have predicted had anyone asked us in 1991.

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How to Pasteurise Eggs At Home

Eggs are generally safe to eat but there is always a chance that they may be infected with salmonella.  This is a nasty disease to contract at any time but it is particularly dangerous for expectant mothers as it can cross the placenta and infect the baby.  The advice in the UK (where I was living when I had my children) was to avoid all raw egg products while expecting.  That means no eggs sunny side up, no home made mayonnaise and no chocolate mousse.  I like to make mayonnaise and mousse at home, however, and when you are living abroad sometimes you cannot get the ‘safe’ shop bought versions.

It is a pretty annoying restriction as so many tasty products use raw egg, of course it is for everybody to weigh the risk in their own minds.  When I was quite young I remember a friend’s mother loosing a baby due to salmonella so I always played things safe.  These days, if I know an expectant mother is coming over for food I tend not to adjust my meal plans but I do make any raw egg recipes with pasteurised egg as a courtesy.

Pasteurised eggs can be difficult to find and, if you are living somewhere more exotic, downright impossible.  I always thought that you could not pasteurise your own eggs but browsing the web some time ago I cam across a nifty little trick from the culinary arts website which claims to sterilise eggs in the microwave. The procedure is quite simple, I would not rely on this to be 100% safe but if I am making raw egg products and I know an expectant mother will be coming over I always put the eggs through this system first, I then let them know the eggs are home sterilised and they can make their own call.

Sterilise a jar and three whisks or forks.  Separate out two egg yolks and place in the jar, whisk them together with 1 tablespoon of lemon juice and two of water.  Discard the whisk and put the jar in the microwave.  Set it away on high until the egg starts to move up the jar + 8 seconds.  Take it out of the microwave and whisk again with a second, clean whisk.  Repeat the procedure and then whisk again with the third, clean whisk.  Your eggs are now ready to use.

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How to make clove oil - a natural remedy for toothache

One of my teeth has been hurting me pretty badly over the last few days.  I have put off thinking the worst because I had a full check up and clean just two weeks ago when we were in the UK.  I figured it must just be some sensitivity because I had forgotten to buy a sensitive toothpaste.  I collected some from the shop and expected the problem to go away in a day or two...only it didn't.

A quick call to my dentist in the UK confirmed my fears, yes it was likely to be a latent cavity, sheer bad luck on the timing and no, there is nothing I can do to put treatment off for the 12 months until I am in the UK again.  I am a nervous patient at the dentists at the best of times; I had some fairly harrowing experiences with Norwegian and English dentists when I was younger (although that was probably a function of the years (1980/90's) as opposed to the location and my mother's teeth were destroyed for life by a well meaning but desperately incompetent dentist in Nigeria in the 1970's. The net result is that I take years to build up confidence in a dentist.  I was seriously thinking about buying a flight back to my kind, understanding and gentle dentist in the UK but realised that that is truly pathetic.  I need to man up, give a good example to the kids and find a dentist here in Astana.  I have asked some friends,colleagues and checked the listings at the international community website and hope to get some recommendations soon.

In the meantime I am stuck with an increasingly painful tooth.  Because all the family teeth have been in such good condition I have not brought any clove oil with me.  This natural antiseptic can help with toothache by numbing the pain (a useful top up for painkillers) and helping keep the area clean.  It is possible to make it but, of course, it takes time to infuse.

I have put a batch on to make today because I am not sure how long it will take to get an appointment at a good clinic, it won’t be too strong to start with but it will be good to have some in the store cupboard for future use and anything is better than nothing.  In the meantime I am adding a couple of cloves to my hot drinks. 

The process is fairly simple, not dissimilar to making vanilla essence.  Take four to six fresh cloves and grind in a spice mill.  You could use a mortar and pestle if you do not have a mill but this is hard work.

A mini mill makes short work of small quantities of spices.

Take a muslin infusing square and place the cloves inside and tie tightly.  Unfortunately I have none in the house at the moment, I used to cut up and sterilise old baby muslins but the kids have long outgrown the need for these and I have run out, you can also sterilise some clean unworn pop socks, again I had no unworn ones in the house.   At a pinch you could use a clean coffee filter or, as I did this time round, sacrifice a posh teabag.

My posh, silk teabag works well as an ersatz infusing bag.

Filled with ground cloves, the teabag even comes with its own string.

While you are doing this, sterilise a small jar.  Put the bag in the jar and cover with olive oil, cover with foil and  place in a water bath, either on the hob or in the oven (150 degrees) for 45 minutes.  When this has completed close the jar with a sterilised lid and leave to infuse for a week.  It will keep indefinitely and get stronger with time.  When you need to use it dip a cotton bud in the oil and dab the sore gums/teeth.

I will be using the oil pretty much immediately in the hope that the placebo effect will kick in.

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How to make your own or substitute vanilla extract in baking.

Much like baking powder and speciality baking sugar Vanilla and Almond Extracts are another key baking ingredient that can be difficult to source as an expatriate.   Vanilla Extract is a key ingredient in most cakes and other baking, it is very good at imparting a subtle taste and helps add that certain something to your cakes.  I usually swap it with Almond Extract in my December baking as I find the almond imparts a more ‘Christmassy’ taste.   

The extracts can be a challenge to find abroad – I have not yet come across them in the local supermarkets here in Astana.  In many countries it is possible to buy a Vanilla (Almond) Essence but these are artificial substitutes and do not give the same depth of flavour as the original.  It is like using lemon juice from a bottle instead of squeezing a lemon.  Because I bake so much I must admit to cheating and buying large bottles of extract when I am in the UK and bringing it back with me.  It is one of the few items I do this with.  While I love the challenge of finding ingredients locally I firmly believe that every expat should be allowed a list of items that are absolutely ‘can’t live without’ that they can bring in without feeling guilty.

Extracts are ridiculously simple to make at home – you take vanilla pods (5-7) and split them.  Place them in a clean, sterilised bottle and cover with about 225 millilitres of vodka and just leave it. It will start to be usable within about 3 months and the longer you leave it the more the flavour will develop. When you want to use it strain through a muslin cloth before adding to the mix.  Lemon and almond extracts follow the same principals and are much cheaper to make from scratch because of the price of the raw ingredients.  I like to keep some infusing in the cupboard incase I run out of my shop bought product. If you have a good supply of small bottles you could present some home made essence to friends - the scarcity of this product in many places would make it a much sought after gift.

Split Vanilla pods, place in a bottle (or a tupperware if bottles are
 not available) and leave to infuse in a dark place.

3 months later the extract is ready to use, just
strain through a muslin before adding to the mix.

Unfortunately making your own is not a viable solution if you find you have run out of extract mid way through baking your cake.  Luckily substitutes are available but most will change the taste of the cake.  If you really do not want to change the recipe the alternative with the least impact on flavour is maple syrup.  If you don't mind a change in taste you can have fun experimenting with flavours.  All alternatives are substituted on a 1:1 ratio.

Liqueurs are a good alternative – just about anything will work and you can tailor your liqueur to the flavour of your cake; rum or bourbon is good in a plain cake.  Kaluha would work well with a coffee cake, fruit schnapps would work well in muffins made with the same flavoured fruits.  When we were on holiday in Tenerife years ago I bought a banana liqueur which was fantastic in baking.  Despite the name Madeira cake does not contain any Madeira (the cake is actually a lemon cake and was so named because pieces of the cake would be served with and often dunked in a glass of the liqueur).  Nevertheless Madeira is a wonderful substitute for vanilla extract and works particularly well in Victoria sponge. 

The alcohol disappears in the baking process but if you are concerned and baking for children or those with particular religious sensibilities a strong steeped tea is another good substitute.  I find this works particularly well in chocolate cakes - green tea or Earl Grey giving a beautifully subtle yet distinctive flavour.

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