How to Learn Arabic In Jeddah

Some expat postings are easy in terms of languages, some are more challenging.  In four of my postings  I have been lucky to speak a language that is either the national language or extremely widely spoken.  Others have required me to learn to communicate in another tongue. 

I tend to approach languages by getting an introductory ‘teach yourself’ book or app and then, when I have enough basic information, just start to converse.  In Venezuela my parents gave me a language book to read then told me I had ‘volunteered’ to translate to and from Spanish  for the English, German and Dutch children at company summer camp.  It was a real ‘in at the deep end’ moment but it did work, by the end of the week I had some basic facility in the language, albeit with a very strong local accent!  In fact I have always made the best progress in a language when living somewhere where people do not speak English (nowhere else really speaks Dutch!) as it forces me to learn.  I adopt a pragmatic approach.  I don’t need to speak a language perfectly but I do need to be able to communicate.  Once I can do that I can start to improve and find that people are generally happy to help.  One fruit stall holder at a market in Astana used to reward me with a piece of fruit if I had improved since she had last seen me.

Arabic has not been so easy to learn, partly because on a day to day basis most people we come in contact with speak perfect English.  Colleagues, all parents at school and most residents of our compound do, most shop keepers, Expat or Saudi, do too.  I have tried to learn using apps but the dialect here is very different to the language used in them and because of the way the letters of the alphabet change depending on their position in a word it has been almost impossible for me to self teach.

Confusing is not the word!

I was over the moon, therefore, when I found a language course offered by a local institute (The Jeddah Cultural Exchange Centre).  The course is broken into parts and I was able to register for the beginners’ sessions.  The aim of these was to gain familiarity with the alphabet and learn some basic vocabulary.  The course was quite intensive, three nights a week for four weeks.  The course was taught in English which was perfect for me although I have a huge amount of respect for the pupils for whom English is a second language!  Our teacher, a Syrian lady now living in Jeddah, started by teaching us the 28 letters of the Arabic alphabet and how to recognise them, not just as a stand-alone letter but when we saw them at the beginning, middle and end of a word.

I thought Cyrillic, with its multiple letters for Y, was challenging but for someone used to the Latin Alphabet Arabic is a whole new level of difficult.  There are 4 or 5  different forms of the letter T, some are distinct but others are impossible for my ear to distinguish from each other, the two Ks are equally confusing.  The 2 (or 3) Ds are, at least distinct (in written if not in spoken form) as are the three forms of S, the two As and the two different H’s.  Yet more letters do double duty.  The Y can stand for Y or E and the W for W and O.  There are even more letters that are only used at the ends of words.  Short vowels (A, I and U)  are modifiers used above or below the word to change the pronunciation of a letter ie Ba, Bi, Bu, but these are not typically written so you just have to ‘know’ which vowel is used where.  A lot of the letters look suspiciously similar when written; a misplaced dot can mean the difference between a J and a K or a Z and an R and whether or not a loop is coloured in can change a GH to an F. 

It was enough to give me a headache, gradually, however, things started to make sense.  I have started to be able to read simple words (I was over the moon to read Balsamic on the vinegar bottle and Cocoa on the cocoa tin).  The course has been a success because it does not concentrate on the written form of the language to the exclusion of everything else (a common aspect of language courses here).  Our teacher has also worked hard to make sure that we are able to communicate.  The other day I clarified a measurement  length of an Abaya in Arabic and I felt ridiculously pleased.  The lady in the shop did too and gave me a huge grin. 

The course has a secondary benefit as well and that is the chance to get to know other people in Jeddah.  Participants registered on the course are from all over the world, India, South Africa, UK, Philippines, Turkey, US and Malaysia.  We have all come to Jeddah for very different reasons but it is lovely to get to know each other. 

There is a long way to go, building vocabulary (and retaining it) is challenging because I do not have to use the language every day.  I have registered for the second level course to try to keep the momentum in my studies.

For more posts on life in Saudi please click on the photo below

The EU Referendum and Why It Matters To Me

 The UK is going to the voting booths later this week in an historic referendum on whether or not to remain part of the EU.  The last time the British people had a vote on the matter I had not even been born and the vote was on membership of the European Economic Community (EEC).  Although politics is a large part of my life it is something that I rarely comment on in this blog.  Nevertheless this is a question that is so important that I think it is vital that as many people as possible explain their reasoning.

If we were living in the UK my vote would, very firmly, be going to the leave campaign.  Sadly as an Irish national I only have a vote in the UK when resident there.  My Father and Sister have a vote, I do not.  Of course as a UK national my husband also has a vote.  Nevertheless even though unable to cast my own vote the outcome of the referendum matters very deeply to me.  Our children are British and the referendum will effect their lives for decades to come and although we have not yet decided on retirement there is a very strong possibility that we will repatriate to the UK in later years.  I have stronger ties to the UK than I do to my birth country of the Netherlands or my own nation of Ireland where, as a part of the diaspora, I have never lived.

We all still have to live with each other and work together in the days following the referendum.  have friends in both camps and respect them all because they engage in reasoned debate.  There are some people (on both sides) that I have lost all respect for because of the manner in which they have approached the issue.  Neither camp in the referendum have covered themselves with glory, the scare stories and the ad-hominem attacks have been horrible to see.  In particular the debate on immigration has been divisive and unpleasant.  Of course immigration brings benefits, as either an expat or an immigrant in every country I have ever lived I could hardly think otherwise.  It is not, however, racist or closed minded to want to control the type of people who come to make sure that they are of benefit to the country.  Again, most countries I have lived in do this, it is not unusual or unreasonable.  Sadly there are some people in the leave camp who seem to think about nothing other than immigration and speak of immigrants in a very nasty and troubling way.  That does not mean that I disagree with them about the need for Britain to leave the EU but it does mean that I, and others like me, have a responsibility to call them out on their views.  I love Britain and I love the British, I also love Europe and Europeans but dislike the EU intensely.  My decision to vote leave is not due to any sense of adopted jingoism or misplaced pride it is, quite simply, a question of democratic deficit.

I know that many member states that were once vulnerable and escaped the iron grip of dictatorships see the EU as a guarantor of freedom and democracy.  That may be the case for them but it is manifestly not for Britain.  I understand that EU rules on work, holidays, leave, and minimum standards represent a vast improvement on what existed before in many countries but again Britain guaranteed many of these protections already and even if that were not the case the country would not abandon beneficial legislation on independence.

Access to the common market is valuable to Britain but Europe is not our only trading partner, indeed the EU's share of international trade has reduced in the years since we joined the EEC due to the growth in other world economies, ones we would have freer and easier access to outside of the EU.  We are being threatened by Eurocrats with protracted negotiations and impediments to access to trade in the event that we do leave but that is an empty threat.  As a trading nation our deficit with the EU is such that were they to cease trade with us out of spite they would suffer.  Finance ministers in Germany and Sweden have confirmed that they would still trade with Britain, the eurocrats may bluster but they would not follow through.  Those in favour of remaining in the EU often say that in order to trade we would have to apply the majority of EU legislation in any event but have no say in how it is crafted.  Norway is often used as an example of that, in Norway the pro EU parties use this argument to advance their cause.  The reality is that Norway applies approximately 10% of EU legislation, most of which has benefits to their international trade, if it did not they would not do it and, of course, if they do not like it they have, ultimately, the choice not to apply it, that is the nature of democracy.

Many economists have come down in favour of remaining in the EU.  These are the same people who encouraged us to join the Euro.  Thank goodness Britain listened to sense on that topic,  inability to respond to the recession caused problems across the Eurozone.   Greece and many of the southern states have had initial problems exacerbated by their inability to engage in individual quantitative easing.

Finally we come to the question of democracy.  The EU has a track record of ignoring the wishes of member states.  The French and Dutch voted no to a European constitution, the EU simply recrafted this as the Lisbon Treaty, when Ireland voted no to that it was forced back to another referendum of ratification when the first one gave the 'wrong' result.  Denmark was treated in a similar way over Maastricht.  The Greek referendum of 2015 was ignored as was the Dutch 2016 referendum on the Ukraine. The EU is ruled by an unelected elite that preside over a bloated bureaucracy.

Don't get me wrong, while I think  the  motives of the current EU chiefs are misguided I don't think they are malicious but the problem with unelected rulers is that you are dependant on their own moral compass and sense of benevolence.  The power of democracy is the ability to say no, to throw out those who have done a bad job or who no longer represent your will.  We simply can't do this in Europe.  My grandparents lived in a country under occupation in the second world war.  They suffered under a dictatorship that they were powerless to remove.  When their country won its independence it was hard won, not just by them and their compatriots but by their allies. My other grandparents lived in a country that had struggled for years for independence from its previous masters.   Voting leave will put us in an uncertain future but it will be our future to do with as we want and that is something I dearly hope my children have.

Once Upon An Expat

For those of you who like to read stories of expat life look no further than the new book Once Upon An Expat.  An anthology contributed to by many wonderful expats it is the brainchild of Lisa Webb at CanExpatMom.  Not only did she pull together the posts of many expats, disparate in style, experience and location but she did that in the middle of a move from Borneo (the Indonesian part, sadly I never ran into her during my time there) to the Congo.

I make a contribution of a story from our time in Kazakhstan but the book is stuffed to the brims with excellent chapters from just about everywhere you can think of.  From the amusing chapters such as the awkward experience of a naked manicure (Americans and Brits seem to get really embarrassed by having to get naked) or getting an old Christmas Tree to the dump in Australia (harder than it sounds) to the searingly emotional chapters coping with death and distance as an expat this book has something for everyone.

I found it fascinating to read the stories that were set in countries that I had lived in (or near to).  The simultaneous differences and similarities of the experiences coming through loud and clear.

I won't say much more as I don't want to spoil the book but if you are looking for a good read this summer (or at any time) download a copy of Once Upon An Expat.  All proceeds go to the charity Books Abroad which helps to support schools with much needed literary resources.

Roots

One of the places in the world that feels most like home to our children is their granny's (my mother in law's) house in the Durham dales.

The older bull - part of the family for many years.

She lives reasonably high up on a smallholding on which my father in law kept a herd of Dexter cattle and some sheep.  When the children were very young they used to love going to 'help' their granddad feed and water the cows and to pet his (very friendly and surprisingly gentle) bull and the little calves.  Indeed the animals were so much a part of their life that Mr EE had to tell the children bedtime stories about their 'adventures' when we were overseas.

His son, the younger bull was every bit as friendly

One of the great advantages of having the children grow up, if not around farm animals, then at least familiar with them, is that they have always been aware of the cycles of nature and the essential part of them which explains where their food comes from.  The first time they realised that the beef on their plate came from the cow they had petted on their last visit, they were a little upset but they have since learned to accept that the cows have a good and happy life and would not even have existed had they not been needed for food.  Furthermore, the efforts of the family are a critical part of supporting the animals and bringing food to the table.

The calves are tiny (Dexters are very small cows)

Sadly my father in law died some years ago but the cows have remained on the land and the children still look forward to going to see them and help their aunt (and Mr EE who takes over duties when we are staying) with the cows.  The herd will be leaving the farm soon, with the cows moving on to new owners, a real shame but a necessary move nonetheless.

Helping with the animals is a key responsibility

in summer and winter!

Animals are very important to us and, we believe, a most important part of the children's upbringing, teaching them the importance of care, stewardship, respect for the power of animals and hard work.

We are a family of many pets, and although the cows are certainly not that, they have given the children a lodestone of solidity and rootedness which many expat children find a little lacking in their lives.  In the years to come, Master and Miss EE will look back on their time on the farm with great fondness.

For more posts on expat life click on the link below.

Posted in a link up hosted by Eco Gites of Lenault

Strays - when you just can't say no!

We love our pets!  From parrots to pups, my family has adopted an animal in every country we have ever lived in although not all of them have made it out to the next posting.  The parrot (Nigeria) was not given an export permit, the cats (Netherlands, Norway and Nigeria) chose to stay with other families and the lamb (Turkey) and goats (Nigeria) were eaten while the Turkey (Nigeria) was given to a colleague of my father as a Christmas present and ended up founding a dynasty of breeding turkeys on a farm instead of on the table).

Expat life is fraught with pitfalls when it comes to pets.  If you have them you need to deal with the hassle of exporting and importing them.  Expats need to find vets in strange and new surroundings and often communicate the most complex of things through sign language.  If you don't have a pet you will be faced with street animals begging for scraps and adverts from re-homing centres desperate to find a home for an abandoned animal before it has to be put down.

My husband and I are firmly dog people.  We both had a cat (or two) as children but dogs were the family pet of choice and, as soon as we were married, we were joined by our truly wonderful Bessie, still with us 14 years later and enjoying life as an Expat Pet.

Bessie, our loving old girl.

  Almost two years ago, in Kazakhstan, we made the mistake of looking at an advert for a puppy looking for a home.  It was 10 November 2013 and I remember saying to my husband that it was such a shame we could not give this little puppy who looked so like Bessie, a home.  We looked at the picture, we knew we would be leaving Astana in 2014 and that another dog was not a good idea, we looked at the picture again and we made a call to the people who were looking after her.  We see lots of photos of dogs wanting homes and we usually harden our hearts, something about Perdita made us think twice.  I hope she lives a long life with us and I know that, by the time it is over this little street dog will have had more money spent on her in terms of flight costs, quarantine and immigration fees than any prize winning pedigree.  She repays that investment every day of her life.

With a household of two dogs, two children and a baby we thought we were full, we had no room for anything else.  We know that Bessie will not be with us for much longer, 14 is a good age for a dog but we notice that she is getting slower, whiter and wrinklier.  She loves her walks and swims, she adores affection, but her legs are seizing up and she is getting some form of dementia.  On our walk a few days ago we were talking about having to get another pet when that happens, someone to keep Perdie company when we are out of the house.

We couldn't say no!

Not more than 5 minutes later we came across a tiny little kitten, dirty, alone and scared on a footpath near a road.  There are (quite aggressive) monkeys in the area and large monitor lizards in the storm drains, she kept walking into the road and we were worried something would happen to her.  Keeping the dogs out of the way we searched for a mother cat, nothing anywhere.  Petrified that she would be killed we took her home and put her in one of the dog crates before emailing the residents association to see if she was an escaped pet.  No one claimed her and first thing the next morning we took her to the vet to be checked over, she told us that there are some unlicensed kitten farms in the area and a few escape only to be killed on the roads, there are also a lot of feral cats in the local parade of shops, apparently she spends a heartbreaking amount of time neutering strays.  

Look who has come to join the fun!

I put adverts up for re-homing but before anyone asked to take her she had wormed her way into our hearts.  It seems that we now have a baby kitten to add to our family.  She is living in the crate (complete with bed, litter tray, blankets and toys) for the moment when the dogs are in the house and coming out for cuddles when they leave.  Bessie, who hates cats, is disgusted that we have taken her in and is ignoring the situation but Perdie is curious and the two are talking through the mesh door.

We didn't want a cat, we didn't want a new pet at this point in time, we have a full house.  The dogs are not used to cats, we know nothing about raising feline pets.  We have to sort out vaccinations and passports.  When we go away we will have boarding fees for three animals.  When we eventually relocate we will need to travel with three pets instead of two (and two is difficult enough).  Taking her in was, to all intents and purposes a stupid decision.

That said, something put this little kitten in our path and made it impossible to say no.  She was meant to be with us and become our Malaysian pet and so Kismet is now one of us.

Posted as part of the monthly Expat Life Linky hosted by Life With a Double Buggy

Click on the picture for more posts on expat pets.

Versatile Blogger

Many thanks to my very good friend Antoine Vanner of the Dawlish Chronicles for a nomination as a 'Versatile Blogger'.  Antoine is a writer of historical naval fiction with a twist.  His hero hails from the late Victorian era and utilises all the emerging 'tech' of his time.  Nicolas Dawlish,  finds himself on various postings around the world (but to date we have only shared one - we have both lived in Turkey) and thrust into some very unsavory situations indeed.

The 'versatile blogger' is a cross between a linky and a blog hop designed to introduce readers to a variety of new and interesting blogs.  There are only 5 rules,  I have to adhere to:

• display the badge;
• write a post linking back to the nominating blogger;
• find 7 interesting things to write about myself ... (hmmm);
• Nominate other bloggers (to a maximum of 15) and say why they get my nomination;
• Let the nominees know they have been nominated.

Thank you Antoine for my nomination!

7 'Interesting' Facts about the Ersatz Expat

1. I have lived in 8 different countries (The Netherlands, Norway, UK, Nigeria, Turkey, Venezuela, Kazakhstan and Malaysia).  I have moved internationally approximately 10 times, it is difficult to say exactly how many because my parents moved a lot and at a certain point, we are not sure when, I stopped living with them but still visited their home overseas.  Not counting moves to different accommodation at university I have lived in over 25 different houses, many of them were my home.  
2. I have never lived in my native country.  I carry an Irish passport, my father is Irish and my Dutch mother nationalised as an Irish citizen on marriage.  We have, however, never lived in Ireland although I visit when I can and keep in contact with family there.  My husband and children are British and I did live there long enough to gain the right to citizenship, I even managed to pass the rather bizarre life in the UK test (bizarre because the obscure questions have nothing to do with life in the UK) but I never got around to applying for citizenship before we left.
3. I can communicate, in theory, 6 different languages (English, Dutch, German, Spanish, Turkish and Russian) but my abilities lie dormant in that I find I have to 'need' the language before I can bring any competency to bear.  If you asked me to use them right now I would be struck dumb. I am always in awe of my mother who was fluent in 4 languages (Dutch, German, French and English) and functional in another three (Norwegian, Turkish and Spanish).  I try to watch programmes and films in most of these languages from time to time to keep a 'muscle memory' of the cadence and rhythm of the language.  
4. I once ran for Parliament.  When we lived in the UK I was a local councillor and was asked to run for Parliament in the 2010 elections.  I was unsuccessful but when we return to the UK I will revive my political ambitions.
5. I have adopted pets in 5 different countries.  We had a dog in Norway but he died before we left.  We adopted Jimmy, a huge scruffy blond dog in Nigeria and he followed us through four international moves.  Eliza was a street rescue in Venezuela who ended her days a few years ago with my father in the UK.  Bessie was a wedding present from some friends in the UK, an old, old girl of almost 14 years she moved with us to Kazakhstan and now Borneo.  Perdita, our newest dog, is our little steppe hound rescued from the cold streets of Astana and enjoying the beaches on the South China Sea.  In my time I have also owned several cats and a parrot.  
6. I have taken a case to the House of Lords.  In the days when it was the highest court in England and Wales I was the solicitor on a case that was appealed to the Lords.  The law lords were some of the most erudite and insightful men I have ever had the pleasure to watch.
7. I have been on safari in Nigeria.  Jos safari reserve is not a well known or popular safari destination.  I can give you the complete run down as to why!

Versatile Blogs:

So here is my list of versatile blogs (I have kept it to 10) - in no particular order....

1. Experimental Expats: Rob and Diane, a Canadian/American couple who are retiring to Malaysia.  
2. Diplomatic Dog:  My favourite online pooch.  I met Nellie in Kazakhstan and she is now busy representing the UK in Guyana.
3. Seychelles Mama: Blogs about day to day family life in the paradise that is the Seychelles.
4. Mint Mocha Musings: A newsreader and now hotelier's wife muses on life in Hong Kong and China.  
5. Your Expat Child:  A website stuffed full of resourcs on relocating with children and a fascinating blog on life in South Africa by Carole...
6. The Diplomat's Wife: Is an entertaining read on life as a diplomatic family and a great resource of information in her 'Notes from the Field'.
7. Expat Life With A Double Buggy:  British Amanda blogging on life as a Dutch mom. 
8. Expat Partner Survival Guide: Clara is another perpetual expat, currently on the cusp of a move to South Africa
9. Lou Messugo: Phoebe is a British/Australian living and loving life in the South of France
10. The Dumpling Cart: An eclectic mix.  Tasty bites of stories from around the world.  

Travel Hacks for Road Trips with Small Kids

I was contacted by one of the lovely people at RelayRides (a peer-to-peer car rental service with an expanding US airport rentals arm) asking about my favourite travel hacks.  As expats with kids we travel, a lot, usually by plane.  Our favourite way to travel, however, is to pile the family into our car and drive; and of course we like to make it as easy as possible. 

We have been very lucky on two fronts, firstly all our children  (now 8, 6 and 5 months) love the car and secondly we have always lived in places where we can drive to some amazing sights- by age 9 months we had already taken our son to 11 different countries in the car. Now we are based on Borneo we are looking forward to driving around Sarawak, Sabah and Brunei.

Jump in a car and you can take your own little comforts everywhere.

Using our own car is, for us, an easy fix to travelling with young children.  We don’t need to worry about lugging child seats everywhere for use in taxis and we don’t need to over limit what we can bring with us and, in some circumstances, our dogs can come too, even better we can charge our electronics while we drive.  So here are our top tips for road trip travel hacks.

Cars allow all the family to come...

Tent and camping equipment

We don’t typically plan our routes in any great detail or book rooms in advance.  We like to point the car in a direction and drive, picking up a room when we get there.  This usually works well as, if you turn up to a hotel with vacancies at 9pm it is usually possible to negotiate a reduction on the standard ‘walk in ‘ rates as they want to fill the rooms.  We like to keep a tent with us though in case we can’t find a room and have to camp wild (much more comfortable than sleeping in the car) or sometimes alternating camping and hotels to save money but still have access to good, private, showers.  Babies love camping – they seem to view the tent as a giant play pen, a place where everyone is on the same level.

Babies love camping - this makes road trips easy!

Pop Up Cot

I hate travel cot/port-a-cribs they are usually anything but portable and pack down to be heavier and bulkier than my suitcase for a three week trip.  If we are away with a small baby for a day or two we let them room in our bed but any longer and it is handy to have their own sleeping space.  A pop up cot typically weighs about 2kg, packs down smaller than a dinner plate and can be used in a room, in a tent and as a shady play pen on the beach. 

Cold Water Sterilizer and bottles

Not all destinations will have access to an electric mains or microwave so a cold water sterilizer is the perfect way to make sure any bottles are safe to use.  We have a ‘lock n lock’ box that is completely water-tight, we leave it on the floor of the car to swap bottles in and out of throughout the day, it fits two so one can be in use/washed clean and the other kept sterile.  The sterilizing solution is good to use for 24 hours before it needs to be refreshed.  When our older two children were babies we had access to single cartons of pre-prepared formula milk which were sterile until opened and decanted into a bottle so we used those.  For trips in Borneo with the new baby we will take a kettle that plugs into the car to make fresh formula.

Kids can be comfortable and safe in their own car seat...

Audio Books and Music

We refuse to let the kids watch videos in the car – we have always used trips as a chance to chat and enjoy the scenery.  Sometimes a little boredom can be a good thing - it makes them come up with all sorts of games to pass the time.  An audio book is, however, a great way to help pass the time on a long motorway journeys  and can help a driver keep going through a night time journey if everyone else is asleep. Our kids love the Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling and all the Harry Potter books.  Now our older kids are starting to enjoy different types of songs and music we get them to help us put together a playlist before we go anywhere – then we can all wind the windows down and belt out our favourite road tunes!

Water Filter

We usually rely on bottled water when we are out and about but we carry a powerful hand held filter (it claims to make raw sewage safe) in case we run out in the middle of the night. 

Cars take you everywhere - from a Kazakh resort...

Camera

I can always snap something on my ‘phone but our outdated iPhone 4’s do not have good cameras.  I try to keep a point and click in my handbag.  Having the car means that I can drag along my heavy but good quality DSLR, I keep it in the smugglers compartment so it is out of sight and take it out as and when I need it.

...to the palace in Budapest

A good atlas/ GPS/ travel APP

We have, so far, avoided getting a GPS – we try to pick up good maps for the countries we are going to and, if we need a specific address, we use the maps function on our ‘phones to search it out.  This can sometimes go wrong.  No good atlas is going to show you where you can park your over height car in Budapest (we spent three hours driving around looking for a hotel that had above ground parking) and a European Atlas is not going to have a road plan of a third tier regional Italian city showing how to not go the wrong way down a one way system.  A few weeks ago I took some visitors to the capital of Brunei only, on getting to the outskirts, to remember the map was in the other car and we had no idea how to get from the ring road to the centre.  Things like this always work out in the end, however, and are usually something to laugh about afterwards.

Small Buggy and a carrier

We like to make the kids walk as early as possible. When they are babies it can be helpful to have a small fold buggy that fits in foot well.  We also keep a carrier (we like Baby Bjorns) in the car for trekking up mountains, through caves or into the jungle.  When the kids get a bit older we use a back pack style carrier.  This is really handy because there is space under the seat to put a cool-bag full of sandwiches.  We try to dispense with a  buggy as soon as possible – by the time our middle daughter was 18 months we spend five weeks driving round Europe without one.  We used the carrier to help her out when she got tired but she walked a lot of the time all by herself – good training for her!

A carrier helps when little feet get tired

Books/Toys

A holiday is not a holiday without some good books to read. In years gone by we would have to devote a lot of space and weight to enough books to see us through a trip but these days we have kindles and iPads.  I keep guidebooks on my kindle (and have them on the kindle app on my ‘phone to check when out and about).  There are often some good free information apps with details about destinations and some of the museums in Europe have excellent free apps with information or audio guides on the exhibits (the Museum Cluny in Paris is a good example). 

The kids are usually allowed to pack a few books, some colouring pencils and a diary (so they can keep a history of our trip).  If we have an evening in a hotel we might let them watch a video on the iPad but they are usually too tired or, now they are older, want to read up about where they are going or have been.  We talk about what we are planning to see or where we are planning to go and they are allowed (within reason) to add their requests into the mix.  A few years ago when we were in Slovenia our son asked to try horse-riding so we found a stables that would let him have a go.  When we were in Turkey our middle daughter asked to see ‘anywhere with carvings’.  This helps the kids really enjoy their holidays and feel that they are getting as much out of them as we are. 

Having a car gives you the flexibility to let everyone do what they want.

Medicines

Of course we pack prescription medicines but if we are traveling somewhere we might not be able to get child friendly medicines I will also pack some sachets of children’s paracetamol.  Forgetting this can make for some interesting and frustrating experiences.  Last year our daughter came down with tonsillitis in Bishkek and, of course, only spiked a fever late at night.  When we went to get some calpol we realised that we had forgotten to pack it.  The 24hr pharmacy had no children’s syrup available so we had to work out the correct dosage of paracetamol per kg.  After that we had to split the adult tablets, grind them on a spoon and mix them with some juice.  Luckily we were able to buy some kids syrup the next day. 

Plug in Cool Box/ Picnic Basket

Each morning we will stop off at a convenience store and buy some bread rolls, cheese, ham etc and make up sandwiches for lunch, that way we don’t have to worry about tracking down somewhere to eat.  We have a cool box that plugs into the car – this means that we can keep drinks and snacks like chocolate and fruit nice and cold for when we get back to the car after exploring something interesting.  Post six months the babies have always just chewed on some of the bread or eaten a piece of soft-fruit or vegetable so we don’t need to worry about heavy jars of processed baby food, I usually wash the fruit then stick it in the sterilizing solution for a few minutes so we know it is safe to eat.

Picnics are a perfect time to stretch legs...

Numbers for Emergency Services

While most countries in Europe/Eurasia will allow the emergency services to be accessed by 112 it does not work everywhere and some countries have different numbers for different services such as ambulance, fire, police etc.   It is worth knowing the numbers for each country you are going to be in.  10 Years ago we were driving in Sweden when we witnessed a particularly nasty RTA between a car and an ambulance.  Being first on the scene meant that we had not only to give assistance to the victims but also alert the emergency services. 

Roll on the Borneo Road Trips...

We have a holiday for Chinese New Year next week so we might drive somewhere to get away from Miri for a few days.  We probably won’t take the tent but will have just about everything else with us.

Posted as part of the My Expat Family monthly blog link up.  Visit the site to read more exciting expat blogs.  

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How to find medical care in Astana

We may have left Astana a few months ago but finding (and coping with visits to) a doctor were such an important part of life there.  I meant to post this some time ago but  the demands of moving caught up with me.

Medical care in Astana ranges, in typical post soviet style, from the excellent to the dreadful.  You can find treatment for just about anything but you will not necessarily receive the comfort or care that you might expect back in your home country and the bedside manner is very different.  Doctors also subscribe to a holistic view of the person so expect to be given alternative and homeopathic remedies alongside your prescription.

Medical services in Astana can be confusing, particularly for expatriates as specialists transfer between hospitals so you may go to different hospitals on different days to be seen for one particular problem. Expatriates tend to have international standard health insurance managed through a local clinic, many of these claim to speak English.  Most of these claims are fanciful at best so be prepared to translate for yourself or bring a local friend along and give up all rights to medical privacy.  The standard of English at SOS is generally decent – they provide GP services and will arrange hospital appointments where necessary and attend with you to translate.  They have helped us with ophthalmologists, dentists, radiology etc.  OB/Gynae assistance was provided but was not as smooth as other services.    

Many of the clinic services will also claim to provide 24 hour responses but again not all of them do.  About one year in to our time there our daughter came to tell me that our son could not breathe.  I went to see him (of course this would happen when my husband was away on business and in the depths of winter), his lips were turning blue and he was rasping.  I was concerned that he was suffering from epiglottis (try working out how to explain that in a foreign language at 1 am) and called our clinic (who had promised a 24 hour emergency response) to hear that they worked only 8am-8pm.  I called our head of HR who was the emergency contact but she was travelling for the weekend and her ‘phone was out of signal.  As I did not know which hospital was providing services that evening I called our insurance international hotline and had my son assessed over the telephone.  They were mostly sure that he was ok but given his age and symptoms they wanted him checked by a doctor on the scene.  They were able to co-ordinate with one of the other clinics to make an appointment at the Mother and Child hospital and I then had to drive out in the middle of the night to find them.

Our employers changed clinics the following week and we found ourselves with SOS who do provide a guaranteed 24 hour response and ambulance services, in fact in the scenario we had experienced they would have sent a GP out for a home visit to decide whether or not hospital admission was warranted – a much better system.  A few weeks later I found myself using their services as I had suddenly become very unwell and needed an operation.  They arranged for pre-op  tests in Astana and then arranged for me to fly to Germany for the operation as they were not confident that the hospital providing those particular operative services that week was safe. 

Kazakh doctors tend to overmedicate. This collection
was for a simple case of tonsillitis.  

You can find yourself being given somewhat strange remedies – a visit to the dentist resulted in me being given super strength pain killers (phenol-barbitol!) and a herbal mouthwash.  When my daughter had tonsillitis we left the surgery with antibiotics, an antiseptic spray, painkillers, probiotics and a herbal remedy.  In the UK you just get the antibiotics and then only if you really push for them.  Conversely when I came down with tonsillitis a few weeks later I was given nothing at all except for instructions to have someone scrape my tonsils with a spoon dipped in hot antiseptic (they told me that I should ask my husband as I would bite the person who did it so it might ruin a friendship).  I was expecting our third child at the time and Kazakh doctors seem to take the precautionary principal very seriously with regard to medicines and pregnancy, the exception to this being herbal remedies – I was given prescriptions for all sorts of strange concoctions that I have to say went straight in the bin! 

Top tips:

• Make sure that your insurance registers you with a primary care clinic.  In my experience SOS provide the best service.  
• Download an app like google translate on your phone and enable a Cyrillic keyboard.  That way if you do not speak Russian or have an interpreter you and your doctor can communicate through google.
• Check dosage instructions, contraindications and potential negative interactions of medicines thoroughly with the Doctor.  Pharmacists will very rarely double check your prescription with you and will not happily answer questions.  Instructions on the packets will usually be in Russian or Kazakh.
• Following on from this if you are on regular medication bring it with you when seeing the doctor.  Sometimes your home doctor will have prescribed something that is not regularly used in Kazakhstan and it is helpful for them to be able to check the medicine and its interactions with any prescription they would typically write as they may need to amend their usual practice.
• While Dr Internet is a recipe for worry and disaster it can help to research your medical issues before you go to the doctor.  Medical paternalism is still rife in Astana and doctors will not volunteer information, particularly when there is a language barrier, you will need to be quite specific in your questions.
• Your insurance will probably have a 24 hour medical hotline in addition to the claims people.  Don’t be afraid to call them to check any questions you have with regard to your treatment or medication.
• Try to arrange for regular ‘well woman’ or ‘wellman’ tests to be done in your home country when you are back – it is just easier than wading through results in Russian and coping with different cultural norms of privacy.
• If you want your child to follow the immunisation schedule of your home country arrange for a letter from your home doctor outlining the schedule and provide this to your primary care clinic to arrange necessary injections.  You may have to give this to your child’s school and make it very clear that you do not give automatic consent to the Kazakh schedule.  We were quite happy for our children to sit on the Kazakh schedule but you may not wish to interrupt a part established regime.  
• Try not to worry – the doctors want what is best for you.  They might not explain in the same way that you are used to but if you are having a heart attack you want them to treat you not talk.  Methods of treatment may be different but at the very least they will be providing the best available care to you.  One of my husband’s colleagues had an emergency appendectomy at a local hospital and was well looked after – certainly better than having an appendix burst on a flight to Europe or Dubai. 

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How to sell a car in Astana

I have written before about the lengthy and complicated process of buying a car in Astana.  Selling a car is even more complex. 

Even old cars hold their value well in Astana. Selling them is,
however, time-consuming.

Kazakhstan has just brought in new emissions laws and this means that only newer vehicles that meet the emissions codes may be imported into the country.  This has caused massive problems in the diplomatic community as the cars are registered on red plates without import.  Sale to a new owner is then exempted from import again.  The actual impact of the law is somewhat obscure but the practical effect is that no diplomat is able to sell a car of more than 10 years old – even cars approaching that age will be cheap and difficult to sell.

Our car, which we bought from a local, was not registered to us on red plates but on yellow, expat, plates with all import and duties fully paid by a previous owner.  This meant that our car was exempt from the new legislation.  We considered driving the car to Europe and leaving it with a relative so that we have a European side drive car for mainland holidays but I suspect, given the age of the car and the maintenance history, it would have failed any EU emissions tests and cost a lot of money to bring up to standard.

We did advertise the car for sale through expat channels but expatriate purchasers were reluctant to buy such an old car.  This was probably because of the level of uncertainty on the emissions law and its application to expat purchasers and because of the high costs of second hand imports (cars do not generally depreciate their value in Kazakhstan to the same extent as in Europe).  Our only practical option therefore was to sell to a local purchaser.

This actually made the whole process much easier – we were intending to go to the car mart on the ring road and hawk the car there but the colleague we asked to help us asked instead if he could buy the car from us – this was a perfect solution but I suspect the market would also have been fine as long as we had help with translation.  I could have managed the negotiations and garage work but dealing with the bureaucracy of the transfer without assistance would have been a nightmare.

In order to transfer ownership we had to take the car to the office of the road police some distance out of town, this would de-register our yellow plates.  I came along to drive and allow the purchaser and my husband to hop out and deal with paperwork as necessary.

The first two times we went to the police station the office was closed with computer problems but we were lucky on the third time.  I ended up with the usual experience when driving Kazakh men – ‘could I really drive a manual? (Yes did he want me to show him how)’ ‘did my husband mind being driven by me?’ ‘had I really been driving for 20 years at my age?’ ‘is the UK driving test hard, does everyone really learn on a manual – even the women?’.  I struck a blow for feminism by asking if the purchaser would teach his wife to drive, he considered my question for a while and said it might save him on the cost of a taxi when he and his friends went out to have a drink!  It was all fairly good natured, the purchaser is a lovely man and a good colleague during our time in Astana just with very different cultural expectations. 

After sorting out the plates we had to go to the ‘consul’ – I am not quite sure what we did there but it was, apparently, necessary.  None of us knew where this office was and we ended up driving around the right bank in rush hour calling various colleagues for an address – an hour later we finally tracked it down.  We then had to go to a notary and register the actual transfer of the ownership of the car which would enable to purchaser to get a technical check on the car and apply for numberplates.

We kept the car that night as there was no time to get a tech-check and register new plates.  The next day we passed it over to the purchaser so he could sort out his paperwork.  It was very strange to see the car under a different number that afternoon. 

We managed to get the sale sorted out one week before we left.  If I were doing it again I would start the sale process earlier.  There are so many hurdles to jump to re-register ownership, it took us three days to find the police station open and if any of the other offices had been closed it might have caused problems.  It was a bit of a pain being without the car for the final week and having to rely on other transport means but at least we knew it was sorted and done. 

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Family Visits

One of the defining characteristics of expat life is that it is lived at a distance, sometimes a great distance, from family.  Costs and bureaucracy add to the physical distance but there is an emotional distance too, often overlooked.

Visits help to maintain strong family bonds.

Living abroad changes us – it opens the eyes to experiences beyond the home country, makes you think in a different way.  Some things which seem so important at home become far less so after a few years abroad whereas other rituals which were never very important suddenly become defining characteristics of home and the home culture.  What goes and what stays is different for every expat 

Nevertheless while we change our family stay the same.  Very often they will have no idea of normal day to day life – many expats say their family members think they live in a permanent ‘Club Med’.  Other aspects of the expat lifestyle (housekeepers, drivers etc) may give rise to jealousy even if they are a necessary part of your life abroad.  I never forget the reaction of our family and friends back in Europe when they found out that for one particular posting I was followed everywhere by at least one armed guard. (my parents had more).  To them it sounded impossibly glamorous, to me and my immediate family it meant that there was a threat that had to be taken very seriously.  I worried whenever I was in the UK far away from my parents – never sure whether I would hear (and worse, have to break to my sister) the horrible news that the guards proved necessary. 

Some experiences can't be described over the 'phone
they have to be lived in person.  

These days, of course, my husband, children and I are the ones that are travelling.  My father and sister take this in their stride – it is life as we have always known it.  My husband’s family are experiencing this for the first time, our life is more strange to them and visits more difficult to arrange and undertake. I found, as a child, that it was easier once I had visited my parents in a new location, to imagine their day to day lives and how I fitted in to that.  Because of my itinerant life I have never had a physical home – home has always been about people not place and so family visits mean a lot to me. Family members can visualise how our lives are every day, although of course it is not quite typical as you lay on special experiences – trips to museums, heritage sites or good restaurants.  It is also important for expat children to understand that family will come and visit them and not just wait for the children to go back to the home country.  I loved it when my grandparents visited us in Norway and the UK - I visited my grandparents often and shared in their lives but there was something very special about sharing mine with them.  Our children feel the same and relish being the ones in the know.  During one visit to Kazakhstan Master and Miss EE were spending an afternoon with my father while Mr EE and I were at work, they refused to let him leave the house unless he was wearing enough outdoor clothes.  It was autumn and he thought they were being excessive but they were proved right when, 15 minutes into their trip to the park he was feeling the effects of the steppe wind!  

We have had, in our first three months in Miri, as many visitors as we had during our whole three years in Kazakhstan.  Malaysia is easier and cheaper to get to and there are no visas, it is a holiday destination in its own right.  Kazakhstan was beautiful – and probably far more exotic in the sense that fewer people visit – but many people were put off by the extreme temperatures.  Who wants a holiday in -35 degrees C?

It is important for family to understand where and
how you live to give context when you ring home.

Of course we also have a trump card here in Malaysia – our new baby daughter.  Unsurprisingly everyone in the family wants to meet her and therefore are taking the time to come out and visit.  The nature of these visits is very dependent on the family member.  My sister came to help when the baby was born but took a few days beforehand to explore Sarawak before taking over childcare/school runs for our older two while I was in the hospital.  We have just heard the exciting news that she will come to spend Christmas with us, bringing her new significant other for the first time, they will probably use us as a base - going away for a few days before coming back for a day or two with us.  We expect to see her more than any other family member as she will happily detour to see us on her way to and from any other holiday.

My mother and sister in law came a few weeks after the baby was born.  It was their first trip to Malaysia or even this part of Asia so we made sure to show them as much as possible (trips to see Monkeys, the Miri tourist sites, Lambir Hills etc) and treated my mother in law to her first ever Chinese meal for her 80^th birthday.  It was also a chance to spend time with all three of the children.  My mother in law is elderly so may not come out again but we do hope to see my sister in law and the rest of the family in the future. 

Children in particular love to show off their home to visiting family.

My father popped over a few weeks after my in laws left – he had been in Miri years before and sees the older children on skype every week so came primarily to see the baby.  Nevertheless we were able to make some weekend trips – walking on the beach and visiting the Niah Caves heritage site.  The older children had a wonderful time and he taught them to ride their bikes – an experience with him that they will remember for the rest of their lives.  We expect to see a lot of him as well as travel is not difficult for him.  He is retired but still has many voluntary commitments and some remote work so he spends his mornings here ensconced in my office doing his work before spending afternoons ‘en famille’ – the internet meaning he can work here every bit as easily as he can at home. 

There is something so indescribably lovely about spending time, just ordinary time together, having people right there instead of at the end of a phone line and subject to the problems that time zones generate.  As I type this I can hear my father’s voice speaking to my husband in another room and it is a very comforting, happy feeling.  This must be how my parents felt when my sister and I were able to be at home.  Home truly is where the heart is and I love it dearly when all the pieces of my heart can be in the same place at the same time.  

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Food Souvenirs -

It may seem strange to think of food as a souvenir of your time in country but taste and smell are two wonderfully evocative emotions and can bring back an experience like almost nothing else.  A lot of the food I cook makes me think of growing up with Oma in the Netherlands and helping her prepare meals.  Whenever I have to substitute one ingredient for another I think of my mother’s struggles and creative solutions in her expat kitchen (and thank her for teaching me how to get around such problems). I have a range of British recipes that I have learned to cook and they make me think of the friends who taught me.  Borek transports me back to Turkey, churros to Venezuela, shashlik to Kazakhstan and so on.  

Traditional Christmas pudding - a variation on
my Mother in Law's family recipe.

I shamelessly collect recipes from restaurants – if I like a particular food I find that the chef is usually happy to share.  Sometimes, in out of the way postings restaurants can be a good source of information on where to source ingredients and if you are really lucky and strike up a good friendship they may sell you some part of their wholesale order.  Friends are also an excellent source of recipes – a Turkish friend taught me how to make Baklava and Turkish coffee, a Peruvian friend shared her recipe for causa etc.  I think of them each time I cook their recipes.

Traditional English Scones - recipe courtesy of a family friend.

I have a range of cookbooks that I picked up at various destinations.  Even just reading through them can transport me back to a place and time and it is all the more fun to make food to share with friends.  Of course the internet is a treasure trove of recipes from anywhere and everywhere but there is something so satisfying about a cookery book.

A small selection of books from trips around the world.

In Kazakhstan our housekeeper (a self-confessed mediocre cook) would be fascinated with the recipes I cooked from around the world and I would give samples and translate recipes for her to bring home for her sister to try, they now eat hot cross buns every Easter!  In Nigeria we had a wonderful cook, Johnson, (my mother was required to cater for sit down parties of up to 60 people at least once but often up to three times a week) who loved nothing more than to pore over my mother’s extensive collection of recipes.  He would spend hours preparing shopping lists for dinner parties and experimenting with substitutes.  Other than the failed attempt at profiteroles (substandard flour I believe) everything he turned out was perfect, a real feat given the shopping restrictions in 80’s Warri.  He also copied presentation – I remember a bread pudding where the orientation and number of slices was an exact copy of the picture in the book.  His dream was to open a restaurant – we would happily have helped him set one up but sadly his older brother, head of the family, decided he should continue with the secure work for expat families to support their ageing mother and the family children. 

Meatballs with mash and red cabbage - one of Oma's favourite family meals.

Last Christmas we were in Cambodia spending a holiday with my sister who flew in from the UK.  It was a mutually (in)convenient location and a place we had all wanted to see for  a long time.  I have never had the time to indulge in a cookery course on holiday before now.  Siem Reap, however, has a wide range of cookery classes available and with three adults available to keep an eye on the kids it was possible for two of us to indulge.  It is definitely something I will look into again for future holidays.  Now every time I make fresh spring rolls I remember, not only a terrific holiday in Cambodia but a wonderful afternoon spent with my sister whom I miss very much in the day to day of expat life.

Fresh Spring Rolls - evocative of
a wonderful holiday.

So much of expat life is about impermanence, memories help root us to our own personal history and food memories are some of my favourite. I see this pattern now repeating with my own children - when I cook plov it takes them to Kazakhstan, Yorkshire puddings  (a recently perfected skill) remind them of their granny in the UK.  I wonder what will remind them of me in years to come.

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