Since our new daughter was born early last month I have been
thinking a lot about the different customs that we have surrounding new babies.
When I was born my parents immediately sent out birth announcement cards – in the Netherlands it is expected
that these are sent out as soon as possible.
When our first baby was due in the UK I was surprised that the soonest
print companies could get cards to me was one week, they could not understand
my rush and seemed to think I would be busy with other things. Not wanting to write out a
lot of cards by hand I searched and searched for a company with a quick
turnaround. I finally managed to get them in three days – I felt terrible for
the delay but all our English friends found it quite normal. Indeed I have received announcements up to 6
weeks after a birth. For our latest baby
I did not want to spend the time searching for a printers in Malaysia on top of
finding a new house, unpacking and settling the older children into school so
we decided to rely on electronic announcements only – the modern age does make
things easier and we thought our families would forgive us in the
circumstances. I am a hoarder, however,
and have birth and death cards and wedding and christening invites for almost all
our family members going back to my grandparents generation kept in our storage
container so I may have some ‘limited edition’ cards made up for close family
(quite pathetic I know) just so our latest daughter is not missed out.
In the UK and Ireland it is not uncommon to save a tier of
the wedding cake (fruit cake) to use as the christening cake of the first
baby. My mother in law saved ours and
her friend (who did the decoration on
our wedding cake) did some fresh decoration for the christening.
In the UK you are advised (for SIDS purposes) to keep a
baby’s room at a positively arctic 18°C but wrap the baby in about three
blankets plus pyjamas, I managed this for one day before turning the heating up
but I wonder if this low temperature may be related to the high cost of heating
in the UK and to make sure parents do not feel guilty for not having a warmer
house (British houses are almost always horribly cold, with people preferring to layer a
lot of clothes). In Kazahkstan houses
are usually at least 25° and even then babies are well wrapped up against
chills, often looking as though they are far, far too hot. In Malaysia the advice seems to
be to cool the room to about 24-5° which is what we used to keep our house in
the UK at – a British health visitor would have a fit!
When we lived in Nigeria it was common for new mothers to be
given a drink of Guinness to restore their iron levels. Certainly I can vouch for the fact that this horrible custom is not (thankfully) common practice in either the UK or Malaysia. In the Netherlands new mothers are fed a snack of beschuit (rusk) with pink or blue sugared aniseed balls (muisjes so called because they look like tiny mice). My mother brought some blue ones back to the UK for our first baby.
In Kazakhstan and Turkey it is traditional for a baby to be
kept away from visitors for 40 days and in Malaysia a confinement period is
common post birth with the specifics (usually relating to what the mother can
eat and what she is allowed to do) depending on the background culture of the
family concerned. Some cultures even
have customs relating to whether or not the mother can wash and what with (ginger water is one of the more palatable alternatives, a mix of cows urine and milk less so). This was probably sage advice to prevent
infection from dirty water in the past.
In the UK things are far more fluid – some people
do retreat into their homes and families but rarely for as long as a month,
this depends on the desires of the parents rather than any hard and fast
cultural custom. We have never really stayed at home and people we met out
and about here in Miri were very surprised to see a newborn baby. The lovely thing here is that everyone seems
to look and comment – the last time I was out I stopped for a coffee and to
give the baby a bottle and the baristas all came out from behind the till to
coo and admire. That is still done in
the UK but is much more restrained.
The other day we were invited to a ‘Full Moon’ celebration
for the baby of a colleague of my husband.
This baby is our little girl’s time sister. They were, by complete co-incidence, born
within 15 minutes of each-other in neighbouring operating theatres. Her mother and I came across each-other in
recovery and the little girls spent their first few hours side by side in the
nursery. Because of cultural traditions
this little girl was not out and about for the first month and her mother was
in confinement so this party was a big thing for the family – we were honoured
to be invited.
One of the nurses here in Miri told me that it is not common
to just throw away the umbilical stump as it is seen as being part of the baby,
in Nigeria (and much of western Africa) the placenta is often removed and
buried carefully as a ‘twin’ of the child.
I have never given in much thought although this time my husband had to
‘sign away’ the placenta to the hospital.
Paediatric tests can be different as well. We were not given a (routine in the UK) heel
prick test for our little girl as the conditions tested for are a problem for
Caucasians but not an issue for Asians.
We had to make a special appointment (with our OB of all people) to
arrange for the test to be done. Of course some traditions are dependent on
religion (circumcision for example) making them more common in some parts of
the world than others.
Click on the picture for more information on the challenges of expat life.
Click on the picture for more information on the challenges of expat life.
Lovely post - it's always interesting to hear about differences like this!
ReplyDeleteThanks Celia - are here any traditions specific to the US?
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